Thursday, 5 December 2013

Day 271, The Relationship Between me and my son Part 2





                                                               





I start with placing a few Self-forgiveness statements from the previous blog and then proceed from there.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel guilty for having a relationship with my son based on pity and despair.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel ashamed within and as myself to have a relationship with my son based on pity and despair.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to to be in regret to/towards the relationship i have built within and as myself in relation to my son.


Now continuing with the rest of what comes up in a moment of writing.

Self-forgiveness statements continuation:


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel ashamed about my son with its front teeths growing too big and pushing forward, and because of this he is getting teased at school, which makes me react in anger and frustration because there is nothing i can do about it in the moment.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel this emotion to/towards my son within and as me, without seeing/realizing and understanding that when i do that, it is me myself that is being ashamed of myself about how my teeth look like.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use my son's problem with his teeth as a projection of myself with problems i have regarding my own teeth, as in how they look like.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to take the shame and anger upon me just because of my projection of myself to/towards my son, instead of me just being HERE and breathe and make sure that when i talk to him i talk to him from a common sense perspective and not a mental reaction about his problem, which is actually my problem, because it is me seeing it as my problem and projecting it unto him.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to instead of being directive within my communication with my son as a standing within and as myself in clarity, i let myself get influenced by thoughts of what he ''might'' go through based on what i have as memories of what i went through within my own childhood.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to superimpose my childhood memories unto my son.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to think and belief that my childhood memories and the ones that my son is going through is the same and thus give me reason in my mind to go through all emotional feelings in regards to what he is going through.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to think and belief that in order to assist my son in any way i must rely on my memories of my own childhood, without seeing/realizing and understanding that my memories are not real and also not based on what is BEST for all, thus using them to assist and support my son in communication with him is also not what would be best for me nor for him in his process of birthing himself as life here in the physical equal and one as i.


I will be doing Self-commitment statements in the next blog.


Thanks

Larry Manuela



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