Wednesday, 2 July 2014

Day 320, Telling my daughter that I am not her biological father. Part 2

So within this blog I am continuing with the self-forgiveness statements in regards to this point.


For context one can visit my first blog about this point at: http://larry7yearwalk.blogspot.com/2014/06/day-319-telling-my-daughter-that-i-am.html







Contuining with self-forgiveness statements, up to the point I am satisfied with what I have placed:



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only look at and measure things/situations/events on what might/can go wrong within them and not actually introspecting the practical common sense, that can flow out of me when looking at the the whole situation on as many dimension of possible scenarios, and from there I can evaluate what would be best for all in that moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my daughter on her age, determining within my mind that she won't be able to handle the situation, because I thought/believed that she would want to meet him and thus force me and the mother to comply to her need of wanting to see her biological father, something that the mother and I already decided we didn't want to go into, because of the possibility that everything that happened in the past will start again, thus within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the past within and as my mind consciousness system and reinforce it by acting on the fear that exists within me as me as the mind to make a decision in a moment, and thus creating within the physical reality an outcome that is fear-based just like the past again.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to look at the situation of my daughter, but only look at the situation of what me and the mother would have to go through as the possible outflow and thus choose to protect our own self-interest and not the the interest of as in what will be best for all.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having  to be involved in a situation where I have to deal with uncomfortable points that are not personally related to myself and thus within this find myself into probable trouble that are not mine in the first place, thus clearly avoid taking responsibility for all that exist within and as this world as I live within and as this world as where I live.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe that by not telling my daughter who her real biological father is, it will protect me and the mother from possible problems with her biological father.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that a possible problem with her biological dad will lead into some form of disputes that can turn into possible physical fights, thus judging from that perspective have decided to better not have nothing to do with him to avoid such conflicts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the biological father of my daughter as someone whom one cannot communicate with, based on the stories of what I have heard from them, as him being a aggressive man whom solve problems with his hands instead of reason and understanding.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in the stories and not investigate for myself if all of that is true or not, but just went with it without question.


I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to give myself the option of going and investigating what is going on for myself, but instead have chosen to follow the  stories of others without question, just to avoid problems, or possible problems that can derive from such points.




To be continued.................


Thanks.


Larry Manuela



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