Day 324, So Larry Why don't you change?

As you can see, this title is referring to myself. I am asking myself, why it is I am not changing as I would like to change myself as what I am aware must be done in order to be the example I must be, so that the way we live with each other and everything else can change to?

Before I continue about myself I want to place two videos of two people whom did effect my life and the way I looked at life in a very deep way.

First I place the video of Jiddu Krishnamurti with the title: " Why don't you change."

And the video of Bernard Poolman, with the title: "  2012, finding your purpose in the journey to life."

So there you have them, two of the many videos that have supported me in all the times I let myself be down so to speak. Within this abusing myself and thus being abuser of all life.




Self-forgiveness statements:


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to even when I am aware that I have to change, I still postpone my change in sitting and waiting and just taking in information and knowledge and not really actually doing anything with them that will result into that which is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not change as I would like to change myself to be an example in this world no matter what, as to what it means practically to be the change I want to be in this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not do what is necessary to be done in my life to change myself to be/become a living example of the principle of that which is best for all life.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe my own justifications and my self-sabotages to keep on continuing allowing myself to not change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to through me not changing myself as I am aware I have to, I also within the big picture let down all of the ones that will find similarities within my writing that they go through within their own lives, thus within this not taking my self-responsibility to actually walk my own process and thus my process which is also at the same time a support to others that may go through the same patterns and constructs I am going through, to assist and support them.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself through my procrastination accept and allow all what is here in this world as the manifested physical mind to be here and continue to exists as it exists without me changing me in order to be effective enough to become a member of humanity that will come together and change the physical manifested mind as the systems we have accepted and allowed to be here as the way we live on this planet as human beings.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to generate within me anger to/towards myself because I am aware of myself not doing what I am aware I must do to change myself in order to be the change humanity needs to see in the world.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to live my commitments to the fullest as I wrote them in the past, and therefore not proofing to myself all the way that I can change myself in every moment of every breath by actually walking and sticking to my own commitments I have made that will have a result when I live them, that will change myself into a human being that lives by and as the principles of that which is best for all life.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to do too little, just because I am aware now or by the very first time I saw the common sense of what I am accepting and allowing to happen to how life functions here in this world practically, which is not what is best for all life, so in order to hold face I do just little, because within me I am aware what is needed to be done and within my mind I let myself fight my own change, thus I deliberately sabotage myself in order to not actually really change in the moment by just taking the decision and see what has to be done physically/practically within common sense that will result in me living that which is according to the principle of that which is best for all life.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed poverty to exist because I do not care enough as in physical/practical care to make sure that poverty is not a living condition on this planet for any life-form.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed hunger to exist on the planet for countless beings, by accepting and allowing a system to exist where such living condition is existent for many many beings.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to even when I am aware of what the heck is going on, still I do not place myself and do more then enough to change myself in order to be a living example of the change that is being seen as impossible and make it visible and thus possible for all to see within the whom I become and the how I live my life in relationships with everything else with only one principle as an outcome, which is; ' that which is best for all life," no matter in what form life has manifested itself.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be really self-honest within my writings about myself within and as my process, and deliberately leave certain aspect about myself for later, when I am aware that the later will not come, because I will keep on not writing about it, postponing my own change.




To be continued........................................................




Thanks.



Larry Manuela

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