Day, 188 My Reaction To Rummage.

I have noticed that now that my kids are here with me that i react to rummage/clutter.

They make a complete mess of the place in seconds, they cannot play in way where they leave things orderly. After they have finished playing and i have a look at the room, it looks like a little tornado have pass through the whole room.

                                                                           

Now this makes me react in uncomfortableness because i was NOT like this when i was a little boy and throughout my whole life. When i was a kid i did this once, and my father came in my room after my mother was angry with me, because my room was like a mess and he told me something very important to me, that i never forgot.

He told me, something simple, but me being me, take these things very serious and deeply. Of course when i was a kid i didn't see that as i see it now, but one can say i really understood these things. Anyways my father told me: '' Larry, hear me.....................can you not see how your mother is doing everything here in this house for you guys( me and my sisters), she cooks, she do the cleaning of the whole house, she do the dishes, she even clean your rooms. Can you not at least do this to help your mother..?? ''

Now i looked at this deeply within me, and i felt like a deep sadness within me, because it is true that my mother always, and i mean always did everything for us in the house, only now and then when we are ''told,'' because we weren't doing these things out of ourselves, like doing the dishes or something else, we will then engage into doing the tasks.

So when i placed myself into my mothers shoes that day, i immediately made the decision to make sure my room will always be clean. So from that day on, my mother didn't have to clean my room anymore, everything was orderly, from drawers to bed to my shoes being in alignment and everything else, i swept the floor and mop it to. I wash my own underwear and socks, because she told me the bigger clothing i don't have to do them, because she will put them in the washing machine anyways.

So from that day onward i continue being like this, to have all my things look orderly. The moment my room or whatever is not orderly, it makes me uncomfortable. It is like if i may use an example here, if one would loose a key or something and is looking everywhere to try and find it, but can't find it because there is  a mess and it can be anywhere, but because of the mess, finding it would be much difficult.


So translated to my mind, when i am having to much thoughts/internal conversations/back-chats/emotions/justifications/judgements/reactions, (mess/rummage/clutter as in the room) i go through uncomfortableness and ''feeling'' like i don't know what to do now, where to start, like i am lost for a moment, and within this i become a little angry and also uneasiness. In this world when it comes to making sure my room is clean and stuff like this, i will be called a: ''perfectionist''



So my kids,----------------------- everything they touch becomes a mess, it is like their hands cannot touch something without making a mess out of it. When i look at this within myself i do not understand it, because i compare them with myself when i was a little kid, and i can see that when i was a kid i looked at things more closely then them, thus when i am busy doing something, to try and be as best as possible to have the thing i am doing or my hands are doing, to be in control of it. So for me to break something, or for me to do whatever i will make sure that i put it back as it was, or make sure to use it in a way i don't make a mess. Thus as a kid i was very physical about these things, and it seemed easy. But now that my kids are like this, i can't understand it, and no matter how much i show them, they just don't get it, how they have to do it physically without making a mess all the time. They are, compared to me when i was a kid and i was younger then what they are now much better in being physical with physical tasks. They should be able to do something at this stage more in control and really paying attention to how things work and how to touch and move things without messing it up, but yet they cannot do it yet at the moment. They are 12 and 7 years old.




Self-forgiveness:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel uncomfortableness within looking at the mess my kids leave when they are playing or just annoying each other.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to sometimes loose my focus in my breath, because i let myself get carried away when looking at the mess, because within me, when it comes to taking care of my stuff and keep it clean, i am a perfectionist, so the moment they can't do this and for some things they just don't want to, it makes me react in anger and also make me uneasy within myself. 


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to go into memories, wherein i compare myself with them when i was a little boy even smaller then them and could already do all these things way better then them, without seeing/realizing/understanding that not all of us are on the same level when it comes to our interaction with our human physical bodies and the way we move with in doing tasks with it.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use my own sadness related to my mother as i was a kid, seeing her doing lots of work around the house, as a way to make sure i am responsible and can take care of my own stuff, no matter what it is, when it comes to doing physical tasks.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to taking something as tasks around and within the house as something to perfect, that now i am in this level of perfection, when the perfection is not here i go through the experience of being out of control, and this then in its turn makes me angry and uncomfortable and frustrated.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect being in control to being a perfectionist, and then in turn connect perfectionist as being negative, when the word ''perfectionist'' should be just someone who does his/her BEST to do something in the best possible way, and have nothing to do with control, nor with polarities as negative/positive. Thus moving from perfection to Self-perfection.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be angry at my kids because they can't handle the tasks as i could handle them in comparison to myself when i was a kid.



Self-commitment:


I commit myself  to make sure that whenever i am about to or i am into becoming uncomfortable when i look at the mess my kids make, to just STOP and breathe and make sure i continue breathing till i am clear and stable and nothing else moves within me as me as the mind as energy.


I commit myself to whenever i am about to go into or i am loosing my patients with my kids in explaining and giving physical example as to how to do a task, to just STOP and breathe and make sure i only interact with them when i am clear and stable within myself so the communication  and the understanding can happen and even if it does to let it go in the moment and give them the time to get it on their own, that could be in the moment or some other time in their lives.

I commit myself to make sure i use my perfectionist actions to perfect my common sense interaction with/as the physical reality and my human physical body, instead of seeing it as something that is negative or positive, but just purely to perfect myself within and as the task i am doing itself and that is it.





Thanks.



Larry Manuela




Join us at: DESTENI







Have a look at our solution to all the problems in this world in the form as:EQUALMONEY








Support our research and buy one or more educational products that will for sure blow your mind, at: EQAFE








Do the course of a lifetime and change yourself in order to change the world:DIP     If not able to afford this one, here is a free version to get you started in becoming a REAL caring human being: http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/


And for better understanding of the living words, visit our destonian Wiki website: http://wiki.destonians.com/Main_Page

Day 171, My own Intelligence.

 

                                                                         

When i was younger, i always within myself saw this ''being smart'' thing as we were calling it not something to be very proud of, at school one can see that those whom are super intelligent always gather with people that are like them, and in some way, they are being treated as some great being, and back than alreay i could see the deception, because one can see how little by little these individuals were becoming selfish, and it starts with little things, like always wanting to get that A+ always. Where i come from they don't use letters for marks, they use numbers, so an A would be a 10.  They will get really disturbed and some of them even angry if they were to NOT get a 10.  What i in myself could see about studies when i was young is that i didn't like it, it seem too easy. I found out about this once, and this is the ONE event that changed my whole life in a way regarding not trusting everything and everyone. This was when i asked my teacher at school, because he was explaining  Chemistry to us, and i found it to be too easy, because i wanted to know how these little guys manage to agree with each other, i wanted to understand that, the relationships they form, HOW do they know that they have to form that particular relationship..?? By just saying it is magnitism is NOT enough for me, because i can see that these little guys know order, so they must be aware somehow.

 That is how i looked at these things back then. I was not interested in the copying shit and than repeating them on a piece of paper when we have an examination. To me even tho i could not word that out back than, that was not learning according to myself. This to me looked like you are just repeating something they're telling you but you don't really understand it, and i just could not cope with that. So the teacher told me, that those questions i will deal with them later on in my life IF i get to go into a university. And i looked within myself regarding this answer and i decided in that moment to FUCK school. Because in my mind, and i was very stubborn back then, in my mind that was NOT learning, to me learning  MUST mean, i HAVE to understand how the thing that i am learning about really functions, i don't question stuff for nothing, i question because i want to understand, and IF i have to wait till i am in a fucking university to get to an understanding when i have to go through years and years of repeating bullshit i copied without really understanding how they really really function, than i might as well fuck all this so-called learning all together. From that moment on, i was just cruising along in school, didn't take school serious at all, because to me school was just a joke, and to tell you the truth they were lucky that at that time we didn't have internet like we have today, otherwise they would have a had big problems with me regarding materials/subjects in school, because i would find out for myself and present my findings to them. I wanted to understand things, not repeat shit, copying information. If one have a look at this, at that time i didn't get why teachers became so mad when students were to cheat..?? I mean this cheating is the same thing that we are doing anyways normally, you just take something, you copy it and than you try and tell it as you copied it, what is the big deal..?? But they want you to utter it from your mind, you see the damn memory. Memorizing is very important in school, understanding NOT..!!  Because understanding takes time, and they don't have time to explain something completely and specifically in detail, and as i know now, they don't know either. Because what they will know about something they themselves also copied, the higher you move on the educational ladder the more shit you will have to copy or as they say MEMORIZE. Now understand when i talk about UNDERSTANDING something here i am NOT talking about understanding the material/subject as they PRESENT/IMPOSE it upon you in school alone, i am talking about answering the 6 questions in regard to the material/subject so one can come to an understanding of it;

WHY, WHO, WHERE, WHAT,WHEN and HOW.....................these 6 questions i am talking about here. In Chemistry most of these 6 questions here the scientists cannot answer.!!  They don't know WHY an Atom is an Atom..??  They don't see an Atom as a being, it is a THING to them. They don't know for sure where Atoms come from and how they are created and the rest of it, they may have BELIEVES/assumptions/theories about that, but it is NOT a fact.  So most of these questions they cannot answer them, because they are only looking at these things from the outside and through their minds, thus one dimension of it, all they know about the Atom is just what they have observed, it is like taking something apart to see what it contains  and how it works as you see it with your human phyiscal eyes and with the help of some machine as far as you can see, and than giving names to the things you see, but this is NOT understanding the thing you're observing..!! You are just seeing something you did not see before because you couldn 't see it, it was to small.

Maybe because of this------------- is one of the reasons i could HEAR the desteni message, because i didn't have to much garbage in my mind filed up, and my ability to ask the right questions, just like i did in that Chemistry class.

So intelligence in this world means nothing, because it is NOT about understanding how things really function, it is more about separating things and observing them as far as one can observe them and than giving them names and after doing all this, pretending that one now have an understanding about the thing one have observed, taken apart and then named......very funny.....loll  Real understanding is an equal and one awareness of whatever there exists right HERE.

Thanks.

Larry Manuela

Join us at: DESTENI







Have a look at our solution to all the problems in this world in the form as:EQUALMONEY







Support our research and buy one or more educational products that will for sure blow your mind, at: EQAFE







Do the course of a lifetime and change yourself in order to change the world:DIP     If not able to afford this one, here is a free version to get you started in becoming a REAL caring human being: http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

Day 155, The Same Day Repeats Itself

I am going to walk with you here in this blog how i see one day and all days, that there is a structure of destruction repeating itself over and over and as it is reaching it's peak it gains momentum and speed that makes it look like there is an evolution within the whole thing, but it is just an accumulation of the same thing repeating itself to the point where there is just enough, and of course that day will also be a day on it's own like all the days that went before it.

 

 

                                           

1)    The human is becoming more and more angry as each day passes by. If you read/watch the news one can clearly see that there is this increase in anger. People are ready to fight and kill each other for something that can be resolved very easily, but yet they will choose to fight or kill each other, thus harming each other badly to the point where they even kill each other.  The young people are also becoming more dare devils as they say. I would say they are becoming much more crazier then the generations before them, because they embody all the pain/frustration/fear/anger of the generations before them passed on to them and are now ready to let all loose.

2)    Sexuality is out in the open now and is becoming more and more obscene. It is now very normal to just go out and look for someone to have sex with and just go and do it. All the sexual diseases are forgotten and it is as of no-one care if they will get the diseases or not, as long as they can have the sex of their lives with someone. And within this alcohol and drugs play a major role. Younger people are having more sex now then their previous generations and are more open in their sexual behavior to, it is like a free for all thing going on when it comes to sex. And it is on an increase, becoming a norm as everyone just accept it and move along. The sex crimes are also becoming more and more, even animals are now being raped and killed by us the humans.

3)     Religion is also being taken to the next level or i would say the final level, where most participate in it, but as most do and become aware that their lives are not getting any better, people are becoming religiously mean and angry for what they belief in is not really working, so the attacks on those whom are not religious are increasing, and what is written in their books as what is ''bad'' they openly go about trying to physically destroy this what the book tells them is ''bad.''  Within this there is also the GOOD INTENTION of the religious population that is growing, because that is all religion was always for anyways, to have ''good intentions''  so the religious people can FEEL that they are good people, where they help a few people and animals here and there and belief that they are really changing something in this world, when the reality is that they are accepting the very thing that they are helping by helping it alone and this help is in the form of a continuation. Because they are dealing with the symptom and not the CAUSE of the symptom. So religion does NOT deal with STOPPING the cause of what brings the ''bad/wrong/negative'' as they perceive it in this world, they just accept it and allow it and put bandages on it and by this thinking/believing that they are actually solving the problems. And with this they can then proclaim that they are very good people and that they care. But in reality, REAL care will be to make sure NO-one and nothing ever suffers and be harmed in this world physically or in whatever matter. But they don't do that, because that will mean one have to have lots of guts to do that, because it is the kind of action where one can loose everything in this world in order to STOP that which is the root cause of all the evil in this world, which is through the invention of MEN, the peculiar thing called MONEY and all it's laws/rules/regulations that protect it to be THE support system of inequality in this world.

4)  Politicians are also as one can see, becoming more open in their lies, as if everyone is so effectively brainwashed that it has become a competition of whom of the candidates can have the better lie and whom can have the better lie-defense, with the approval of the voters when they place their votes on them. Meanwhile reality is being abused and NOT addressed at all in their agenda, and when they do address them it is from the perspective of HOW MUCH IT WILL COST. So reality as LIFE has gotten a price tag. This is as low as we can go to put a price on LIFE, the very thing that support all of us and everything else. Such an dishonor and shame to see us humans wasting our lives and all other lives for something so low as a valueless thing called MONEY.  Those whom have all the money are getting more and more, but the real physical resources that are being used to transform into products to sell in order to make the MONEY are getting less and less, so there will come a time when they can't use the resources to come up with the next cheap shit to make profits and will have to deal with the drug-addicts they have created that are called CONSUMERS. The monsters..!!  this is the REAL reason why the upper elites are hiding and are NOT known, because they know what will happen when the drug addicts cannot get their next fix, they will become very very angry MONSTERS, and these monsters are in the majority.

5)   Animals and plants are becoming more and more instinct, so instinct that the brainwashed Zombies as humans don't even bother and notice, and as a matter of fact don't give a damn anyway. Because the human is so self-centered freak, that it actually belief/think that It is the very reason maybe that all the animals and plants exist, that they exist for it's take/sake, for it's abuse and so if they all die, it won't matter, because the human is THE one that belong here and nothing else. This is our crazy attitude we live by in this world day by day. There is an increase in petition signing growing on facebook as if this is actually going to change something when in reality it just won't. This is also people with ''good intentions'' reaching their peak of coming with an solution as to what they can do to STOP these atrocities, but most will NOT stand for LIFE and come together and change the monetary system of inequality that is causing all this mess.

Now i can continue giving you many points, but you got the drift.  There is an increase in everything and there will be a point of NO-Return where all the SHIT just burst out of the toilet. So stay tuned as you are already very tuned but not practically taking action as to come together as a group and stand for that which is BEST for all LIFE, and take nothing at all that is less then this or more then this, this is it-------- we are going to create that which is BEST for all LIFE or not. ONE of these have a continuation either with or without the human and the other have an ENDING. So choose wisely..!!  CHOOSE LIFE...!!!  The Only Real Choice that ever existed..!!!

Thanks

Larry Manuela

Join us at: DESTENI

Have a look at our solution to all the problems in this world and join us in putting it together as we go along investigating all things and keep that which is good, which will be BEST for all LIFE here in the form of: EQUALMONEY

Support our research and at the same time support yourself with real mind blowing educational products: EQAFE

Do the course of a lifetime at: DIP

Get the free version of DIP to and start today: http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/