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Friday, 8 February 2013

Day 206, Not Wanting To Help Each other. Part 2

Within this thread i am going to do self-forgiveness and self-corrective statements in regards to what i wrote in the blog from  DAY 205.





I finished that last post saying:


There is another point to, and that is the point of  ''private life.''  There exist this belief in a private life thing. People are always very afraid to talk about their ''private lives''...lol
They will protect their so-called: '' private life''  no matter what. Thus by NOT wanting others to know about their private life, they will not openly talk and say what is bothering them. Thus the ones that leave the messes behind will continue doing so, till the day may arrive for them to understand that in order to really get to know one another, one have to communicate more about whom one is as a person for real, so we can understand each other and assist and support each other, and thus really work with each other in the best way possible in this current moment as the system is currently existing.                                





                                                                     





Self-forgiveness:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to sometimes also feel like not wanting to clean up some mess i make,just because i did not feel like doing it/cleaning it up.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to many times in the past to not wanting to clean up my own mess, just because i was feeling depressed in some way or another and also because of me just avoiding to clean it all up.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to shovel my self-responsibility in hands of another in the past in order for me to not having to do it myself, without seeing/realizing/understanding that only i can take my own self-responsibility and so it is for each one equally so.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to always be the one that cleans the mess at work whenever i see that i am capable and have the time to do so, without seeing/realizing/understanding that in doing so i am in fact doing the others that really made the mess a wonderful favour.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to link cleaning up other peoples mess as a means to being nice to people and showing people that i care, without seeing/realizing/understanding that i am in fact sabotaging myself by trying to be whom i am NOT just for the sake of being nice and to be acceptable in the midst of other people.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to ignore my own awareness of the whom i am in the moments of trying to be nice and cleaning up other peoples mess after them, because in my mind i am trying to show them by doing the cleaning after them, that they will learn to do it themselves when another time/opportunity arises.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage myself into thinking/believing that by doing a kind act, will turn things around and give some example, when again and again, i am being slap in the face with the cruel reality that, we as humans are all self-interested driven, thus my cleaning after others as an example is just being abused, because than they themselves don't have to do it and i am then being seen as just a nice guy that always helps and cleans after someone else have left a mess and conveniently forget to clean it up.


I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that to help each other out of trying to just be nice is NOT what is best for all, because it involves only one doing the actual cleaning and not another helping, thus this is more pointed into the direction of being a slave.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to in many cases avoid to talk about myself freely because i thought/believed that this is part of my private life and my private life is something i keep to myself, without seeing/realizing/understanding that by doing this i am in fact sabotaging and hiding points/parts within myself that all belong to me/that are ME so i will always in this matter hold on to the past as ME and never be real as the whom i am in every moment of breath and is than in fact lying and playing a role of a character which is false. Within this i realize thus that i will only be known as the lie that i am and i represent if i am to not just be all that i am everywhere equally the same, and drop all characters for whatever reason/purposes.  Thus within this, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to to let myself be known as the lie that i am respresenting as the whom i am as broken parts and not as a whole as the whom i am in every moment of breath.




Self-commitment statements:


I commit myself to make sure that every time i am about to or i see myself participating in hidden information about myself i just STOP, take a deep breath and bring myself back here and do not engage into perpetuating lying to others and thus in fact lying to myself deliberately just to hold a false face up for others to think/belief is the whom i am at home to, when i am all by myself, which is NOT the case.


I commit myself to always communicate about the reasons behind what i am about to do and why i am doing it so the other may understand that what i am doing is NOT from a perspective of helping for the sake of helping alone, but more so for the sake of doing as an example so others may also participate in the same way, so what we do, in this case work together really becomes a REAL working together.


I commit myself to make sure that i am participating everywhere that i am as the whom i am at home to, and to not put a character up for me to play, and just be whom i am in breath alone as nothingness as the breath as life right here and that is it and express myself in awareness as the whom i am in breath without thoughts/feelings/emotions.



Thanks.



Larry Manuela





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