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Friday, 22 February 2013

Day 212, Stopping Myself From Postponing.

Now within this post i am going to workout a point, and this point is of me postponing to do what i have to do with regards to my DIP-course and also other things in life to.



                                                                


As of a day ago i have take the decision again, as i did many times already to really this time just apply myself to what i have to do, thus to just do it..!!

I have found many excuses as to not do what i have to do, and the main excuse is the one, of just sitting here and doing lots of others things, BUT the things i have to do themselves that are of importance and that makes me move faster within that which i am doing and also within the group that i am part of, i postpone them. And why..?? Just because of fear of writing TOO much and because of this then becomes overwhelmed as seeing no ending in sight. All of this of course is none-sense, because it doesn't matter how long the points can be or not be, it is about the actual being honest in working them out.




Self-forgiveness statements and self-commitment statements:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to drag my DIP-course assignment so long, just because of fear of writing too much and feel overwhelmed by all this writing, when all of this is in fact a mind-fuck that i have created within myself to not workout my participation within and as my mind, and when this happens i usually go on other websites like ''youtube'' for example and watch some videos done by other members or i get into chats with other people or someone calls me and i keep on talking without saying that i have something to do and that i have to be excused.


I commit myself to whenever i see myself going into or i am about to go into looking for ways to avoid writing out my assignment, i STOP and i take a deep breath and focus on my breathing till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.



I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage myself by not doing what i have to do when i have to do it and within this same breath also sabotaging the whole group, because it slows me and the group down.


I commit myself to do what i have to do in order to keep my consistency for myself and for the group, so we can move faster as a group and we all stand equal on all the points.



I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NOT hold on to my agreements i made as in living applications and compromise myself and others as myself within the group.


I commit myself to make sure that whenever i see myself going into or i am about to go into compromising myself and others as myself i STOP, i take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE till i am clear and stable and nothing else moves within me as me as the mind as energy.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use time as an excuse to avoid engaging into what i have to do in order to workout my own mind and my participation within the world, as in coming with excuses of NOT having enough time, when in reality the time i do have i don't use it effectively.


I commit myself to make sure to use my available time that i have constructively and effectively to what is best for all, and automatically is best for me too.



I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to say that i will do something but then when it comes to the actual DOING it itself i don't do it, i keep on trying to avoid doing it, just to not face myself and get it over with. I realise that i am avoiding doing my tasks because i fear the time when they will become a lot, as in too much to handle and thus will not be able to cope with all of that in the amount of time i have available. Thus within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear future projections that are not HERE at all at the moment as in the physical as an actuality, instead of focusing on what i have to do and just get it done and over with.


I commit myself to make sure that whenever i see myself going into or i am about to go into projecting myself into the future to just STOP, take a deep breath and bring myself back here in and as breath till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy, so i can dirct myself within this clearness and stability to walk/live what is BEST for ALL LIFE.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to agree with another to use certain words as only implying what is happening now, and not to give meaning to them for the other or believing that the other might get it in this way or that way, which i don't know anyways, so better to stick to words that we both agree we use so we don't mind-fuck ourselves all the time and keep on time-looping. I realise i do this mostly because i old ways of talking and ways of being polite and nice, but these being polite/nice are not standing as the words i speak. Thus within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use words according to how i was brainwashed to use them as in order to be nice and polite but do NOT use as in accordance to what their definition itself is.



I commit myself to workout a way to come to equal understanding of the words i use with with another and where we can understand each other better and have a more clear and effective communication as we use the words exactly as what the dictionary give as definition to the words and out of this when we can see in common sense that the words are not equal to LIFE, we re-define them for ourselves to live them as what will be BEST for all life, and thus we then live words that are BEST for life.





Thanks.



Larry Manuela






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