I am going to work out some problems i have been having in regards to translating words from other languages into my native language which is Papiamento, or from my native language into other languages as for e.g. Dutch or visa versa or from Papiamento to English or visa versa. And understand that this is my own experience, it doesn't necessarily mean that it happens to all people that are bilingual or multilingual.
I have noticed that if i have to translate a sentence from Dutch to English for example, i first translate the Dutch into my language, which is Papiamento within myself and from there i move to English, the same will happen too if i would have to translate from English to Dutch, i go into myself translate it in my language first and then to Dutch. This happens very fast, that it may appear as if i am translating directly from English to Dutch for example, but i am not. So what is the problem within all this.? And sometimes when i can't find a word in Papiamento i suddenly remember the word in the other language, when i then switch and really look for it in the other language, i can than find it and i say to myself in my own native language afterwards: '' see, that is the word i was looking for'' what a mind-fuck isn't...??? Let me give an example of this:
I am going to use the word: '' walk.'' Now this word translated into Dutch is: ''lopen'' in Papiamento it is: '' kamna.'' Now lets say i have to translate ''walk'' into Dutch. Now what i would normally do is go to my native language first and translate it as ''kamna'' and then i know, ooh yes, ''kamna'' is ''lopen'' in Dutch, understand that this what i am writing here goes very very fast( speed of light...lol). Now here comes the tricky part, if i forget that ''walk'' is ''kamna'' in Papiamento, i block Papiamento out and go directly to Dutch and i then find it as ''lopen'' and then from here i say to myself: ''ooh yes, ''kamna'' that was the word i was looking for. ..lol This looks like 3 characters/personalities in support of each other or sometimes canceling each other out. Now each one of these languages and also including Spanish, even though i don't use it that much, have their own starting-point as in to what country and group of people i have copied them from. Can be from television/movies/books/songs and also the pictures in the study-books and magazines and newspapers. In each of these languages i copy the way the people move within/as their language, thus the way they speak the language, how they express themselves verbally using the language in certain/specific countries and also from certain/specific people that i myself will choose as articulating the language more assertively. There are people within their own languages that are very good at articulation and at making one attentive to what they are saying, as in making it very spectacular and interesting, like for example; Dr. Martin Luther King, to name just one that most people know or have hear him speak. So now that i have done all of the copying in my mind i then use them in all the languages and what happen then is that i become confused, because certain ways of saying something in one language will not come out as it will be in another language when it is translated. It is like saying something funny in English, but translating it in Dutch suddenly it is not funny anymore. And there is another problem too. Dutch for example sounds very monotonic, it doesn't sound like Spanish and English and Papiamento, these other 3 are more assertive and aggressive in way of speaking, makes one like more attentive to what they are saying, depending of course whom is speaking and in what manner, but all in all there are differences, and in order for you the reader to get a better understanding of what the heck i'm talking about here, i will place as example from each the languages a video from a political leader from certain countries speaking these specific languages. One will note that the language that is closer to the one one speaks oneself with everything of the language included, that one will tend to like that one more or better, or have that one as a preference.
Hugo Chavez From Venezuela in Spanish:
Mark Rutte From Holland in Dutch:
Martin Luther King From America in English:
Jopie Abraham From Bonaire in Papiamento:
So there one can see in all 4 of these languages the body languages and the tone of voice and the way they voice themselves within their own language. Now this is not for purposes of critique or something like that, it is to just let one see the differences in the way the languages i understand are being voiced by these leaders. And these are the things i copy for example when i am speaking one of these languages, thus the way they speak, not the same, in my own way of course.
Now what i have been noticing is that in each of these languages i have copied the words as i hear them and as i see how people use them and for what purposes and reasons, coupled with all the body language/tone of voice/face expressions/way of speaking the words. I have noticed within myself that most of us, if not all, we don't get educated from early on when we are kids, when we are being taught our languages as to learn the words exactly as how they are written in the dictionaries, we all think/belief that we know the definitions of the words we speak, but if we would to ask anyone in their own languages what the definitions are of the words they all speak in their own native languages one will notice that many if not all don't know the definitions of the very words they speak everyday, and i mean as exactly as how it is defined within the dictionaries. Thus everyone in this way are using the words according to how the words FEEL to them, and sometimes even assuming that the words may mean this or that, when it means something entirely different if one would look it up in the dictionary, but yet they have managed to use it correctly in a sentence. Thus, how it was said to them in certain specific tonality and mannerism, and all of this as a child, one will copy and mimick, and from this having a virtual understanding of what the word might mean. Thus we have made all words personal, every person with its words are carrying the words according to how he/she feels about the words personally, the personal relationship as how he/she has experienced the word in his/her environment and from the culutre and so forth. And this whole mess brings lots of confusion, because we don't understand the words we use with the same meaning, as in having the same understanding based on the definitions of the words we use. Now let alone using words to bring about that which is BEST for all LIFE, thus words that support LIFE, which does NOT separate us from life, but that we are equal in our words as we live the words we speak. Thus we have to understand the words we speak now from the perspective of our minds as they are written exactly in the dictionaries, and from there redefine them into words that when they are spoken/written and lived they bring that which is BEST for all LIFE and don't harm LIFE or bring confusion/debates/separation/conflict/friction.
I know Spanish too as i already mentioned, but since i am living here in Holland, i don't have much use for it, and thus little by little because of not using it, because of not needing it here it has become very weak, especially if i were to write it down or read it, it doesn't flow like it used to be in the past. The understanding of it however when it is spoken by people whom speak spanish is fine, i understand it.
Where i come from is a little island with at the moment having 16541 inhabitants. In our history we have been influenced by many cultures and beliefs/superstitions and also through languages coming from many directions. My great great grandparents were living in the slave period, and the slave mentality has left its mark in the people of the island and of which made them people whom don't speak out or stand up for their rights that easily, lots have to happen before they do so, we are mostly timid and quiet. My great great grandparents from my father side were a red indian and a black man, married with each other, thus my great great grandmother was a red indian and my great great grandfather was a black man. From my mother side they were all indians, thus my mother's mother and father were both descendants of indians, the indians from South America, from Venezuela to be more precise.
On regards to the history of the people there, i leave here a link to wikipedia, where some of the history is written: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bonaire
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use words in relation to how i feel them within me and with how i experienced myself for the first time hearing these words, and from this perspective i think/belief that i know the definition of the words i use, when in reality i only know what i have define myself as, according to what the word means to me based on memories i have imprinted within my mind according to how my mind interpreted it in the past at the moment i first heard it, in relation to how it was sounded to/towards me and in what tonality and also for what purpose.
I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand in to what extent knowing more then one language will influence my life, as in understanding others and my participation in communication to/towards them sometimes difficult but also easier, because i have lots of angles/direction to look at a point(s).
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to make from each language that i understand and speak a character/personality that sometimes cancel each other out but also support each other so all of them can keep on existing as the characters/peronalities behind the languages they are within my mind.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect languages within my mind together in order to enforce my own participation into and as my mind, but not speak all of them from the perspective of the words as the whom i am as the words and that they support me as life and all of life equal and one.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to engage into comparison within myself in regards to the very languages that i know, making me have back-chats in each of them sometimes as if the languages are pawns of the characters/personalities behind them.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create personalities within me in order for them to speak as if they are the real me, which is my human physical body producing the real sound, which is my voice.
I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that ONLY the voice that i make with my body and the voice that i hear coming from my vocal cords IS the real voice and NOT the voice i hear within my mind that sounds like it is the real one, because the one i hear in my mind(head) is the one that my mind copied from the real one, which is the one of my human physical body.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not just be HERE in the moment when i open my mouth and speak as the words that will come out as the whom i am as the human physical form and NOT as the personalities/characters pretending to be the real one, speaking/talking as If they are Me, the human physical form, the REAL being of EARTH.
I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that i am relying on a lie as personalities/characters to define the whom i am as LIFE, instead of just being here as one as equal as all as LIFE.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to copy tone of voice/way of speaking/body language/assertiveness when speaking/face expression all to be part of my personal data base where i will use them in order to coin out my own words and from this tjhink/belief that when i speak the words, that they are me, when they are all coming from memories from within me that i copied, but yet i use the real being, which is my human physical form to express them as to make them REAL.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself comprehend/understand words from my mind perspective/view/insight and totally NOT as a living expression as the whom i am as the living words, expressed from the real living being as the human physical form.
I forigve myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to to rule myself out as the human physical form that is real as the only one being that really speaks and can speak in this world as the ME, by replacing it with characters/personalities in a mind that are as/of energy and that they need energy from the very body that is the substance of earth as LIFE forn consumation in order to exist as IF they are real.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to get confused sometimes within myself in regards to the languages i know and understand, for i mix them when i don't need to or unnecessarily, or i use words in one particular language that have a slightly different meaning in another language, and due to this i will then be understood incorrectly.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to get a little frustrated with myself if i use words that may be understood in another language completely different if they were to be translated without paying attention to the sayings in another language.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to react a little impatient if someone does not get what i am saying according to me, without me seeing/realizing/understanding that in the very way i used a particular word or sentence within their language, i was interpreting it from my perspective of how i understand it within my own language and thus bring it into theirs as if that word have the same value/worth/understanding when it is not always like this.
I commit myself to make sure that whenever i see myself going into or i am about to go into trying to understand words i don't really understand in fact what their definitions are, to just STOP and take a deep breath till i am clear and stable, and if i am in a position where i can look the words up i do that, if not i just breathe and use words that i for sure know what their definitions are and then redefine them so that they support LIFE and not my self-interest.
In this i commit myself to little by little to learn myself to speak words that i can live that are words that bring that which is BEST for me as i participate in this world, that in their turn are equally what is BEST for all LIFE, so when i live them as the whom i am, the outcome as i participate in this world is always what is BEST for all LIFE.
I commit myself to whenever i see myself going into or i am about to go into giving the languages together with the characters/personalities behind them value as if they are the whom i am, i STOP. I take a deep breath and focus on me breathing as the totality as my human physical body till i am clear and stalbe and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as the energy and from this clearness and stability in the breath, i then word myself, so the words are the real me, as the human physical form/body.
I commit myself to be very vigilant in putting attention on the movements of my mind to make sure i don't fall into the trap of switching characters/personalities that are behind the languages i understand and speak and make sure i slow myself down in breath to see these movements and in this matter i can direct myself to NOT participate giving my mind illusions power over me as the human physical form that i am as the real being on/of earth.
I commit myself to little by little to bring myself back here, thus earthing myself so when i speak whatever language whatever comes out of my mouth is truly ME, and not mind personalities/characters, and for this i wil use self-forgiveness done in self-honesty to find the patterns and structures within me in order to identify how i created myself to be like this and from there deprogram myself to a clean slate and then program myself as living words that are BEST for all LIFE as one as equal as all.
I commit myself to whenever i see myself going into or i am about to go into back-chatting in one of these languages to immediately STOP, take a deep breath and continue doing so if there are any reactions coming up within me, till i will be clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy, and from this clearness and stability i direct myself to speak as the words, as the whom i am one and equal.
I commit myself to little by little to delete all learn copied information done in separation to myself as words and then speak words that i live as the whom i am that only produce and bring about that which is BEST for all LIFE always in ALL ways.
I commit myself to whenever i see myself becoming frustrated for what i myself have inflicted on myself within myself using the words as have copied them, i immediately STOP, i take a deep breath and earth myself/bring myself back HERE and continue breathing till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.
I commit myself to whenever i see myself going into or i am about to go into reacting within my mind as being impatient, I STOP, take a deep breath and make sure i am clear and stable and remain in breath till i am totally one as my breath, breathing as one as equal with and as my body.
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