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Saturday, 16 March 2013

Day 219, Being Nice Part 3

I am now continuing with the next Dimension in regards to this character/personality.


Here is a little bit of what i wrote last about this character/personality:


I commit myself to little by little STOP myself to not be a good guy/nice guy, but just be whom i am without having to put up a personality and instead just be what i am comfortable being, which is;  a quiet normal guy.

I commit myself to let work on the fear and to pay attentionto this fear that is trying to protect these personalities so i can always be clear if i am in personality act or not and in so doing be able to direct myself into a living application within that moment to not let fear take over nor anger/rage till i am clear and stable within me, and till i one am without none.




                                                                               
                                                         above picture brought to you by: Desteni Artists



Now i am going to continue with the Backchat Dimension:

** You are fucking with me..??
**  Why always me as a pray to these fuckers..??
**  what is going on with these people..??
**  I have to find another way to mix within dealing with people.



Self-forgiveness statements:


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have the backchat in my mind when i hear myself saying to myself: '' You are fucking with me..??'' without seeing/realizing/understanding that this voice i am hearing is a recording my mind made of my REAL voice which is the voice that my human physical body makes with my vocal cords, because only the body can speak and NOT the mind.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to let the backchat: ''You are fucking with me..??'' to exist within me as me as the mind as energy.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have this backchat: '' You are fucking with me..?? '' to exist within me as me,  in relation to myself thinking/believing that i am in power in that moment and can do whatever i want to harm another that dare challenge me.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as MORE then another and within this using the backchat: " You are fucking with me..??'' to make myself feel better and in control and able to subdue the other uising fear.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have the backchat: '' why always me as a pray to these fuckers..??'' to exist within me as me as the mind as energy.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand that the backchat: '' why always me as a pray to these fuckers..??'' is what i pereceive/interpret through my mind and in this make someone else someone to be hated and even someone to harm.


I forgive msyelf that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand to what extent i was having backchats that justify why someone else must pay for whatever they did to me, in order for me to keep on existing as the mind consciousness system that i have accepted and allowed myself to be/become in this world, in this reality.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have the backchat: '' what is going on with these people..?? '' to exist within me as me as the mind as energy.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to take the blame that exists within me and project it unto others and acting as if what is existing within me as blame is their doing.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to link blame to the backchat: '' what is going on with these people..?? '' 


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to even have a backchat: '' what is going on with these people..?? '' as a question i ask to myself within my mind, when this voice that i hear is not even my real voice, it is my recorded voice as memory within my mind, that i call: '' ME.''

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have the backchat: '' i have to find another way to mix within dealing with other people,'' to exist within me as me as the mind as energy.

I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that this backchat: '' i have to find another way to mix within dealing with these people,'' is implying that i am trying to sabotage myself to FIT into the society outside that i can see is not accepting Me, as the whom i am, as IF the whom i am is not good enough or is not something that is worth living as, or is weak and can be abused. Thus within this, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give my characters/personalities value and NOT my body value, because the ''I'' i am talking about is the ''I'' as the whom i am as characters/personalities existing within my mind, pretending to be real.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see blaming the outside world for my inside interpretation of the world outisde as if it is an actual understanding of what is going on in the world, when in reality i don't really know and have any ideas whatsoever as into how exactly the world functions in specificity and detail and how my interactions are influenced by others or by myself into and as the world itself and all that is here.


Self-commitment statements:


I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into having a backchat within myself as myself in STOP, take a deep breath and bring myself back here till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am into the backchat: '' you are fucking with me..??,''  I immediately STOP, take a deep breath and keep on focusing on my breathing till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.


I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into the backchat: '' why always me as a pray to these fuckers..??,'' to just STOP myself immediately in participation of this backchat and take a deep breath and continue focusing on my breathing till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as  the mind as energy.

I commit myself to when and as i see myself blaming myself or others as myself i STOP, take a deep breath and making sure i focus on my breathing till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into the backchat: '' what is going on with these people..??,'' i immediately STOP and take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE and make sure i am touching something that is physical to remind myself that i am HERE and not lost within and as my mind.


I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or about to go into the backchat: '' i have to find another way to mix within dealing with people,'' I STOP, take a deep breath and bring myself back here till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into blaming the outside world to STOP and take a deep breath till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.



Thanks.



Larry Manuela


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