Tuesday, 14 May 2013

Day 239, Contemplating for Contemplation Sake or Not? Part 5

So, here i am continuing with the next dimension, which is going to be the Reaction-Dimension.
Here is a little of what i wrote in the previous post:


Self-Reward:



Within this post i have seen/realized/understood that i am using back-chats as means to abdicate my self-responsibility to myself and also in my interactions with others as myself to not take action and get over my self-created fears within myself, thus therefore now that i have seen that i am doing this, the next moments that certain similar situations occur i can then STOP myself in participating in creating myself as fear all the time, wherein i will make the decision to NOT move or do something and instead wait for a chance or a moment that will seem ''right'' based on assumptions and interpretations of my mind.







Problem:


Reaction-Dimension:


*** feeling a little nervous about how to move in her house and how to use her stuff


*** anxiety for making a mistake


*** anxiety to be judged as NOT good enough





Solutions:



Self-forgiveness statements:


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel a little nervous in her house and how to use her stuff.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see/realize/understand that the nervousness i am experiencing is a nervousness i programmed myself with, because it was brainwashed/told since i was a kid, that when i am in someone else's house i behave, and thus not knowing exactly what ''behaving'' really implied, i became nervous as a kid and this is now part of my memory. Thus within this, I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to hold the memory of being nervous when in someone else's house, without never questioning where it was coming from.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to interpret ''behaving'' as in sitting quietly and NOT doing much, because that is what i was told to do when i was a kid, when visiting someone else's house.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see/realize/understand that i now as a grownup is still listening to the programming that i have accepted and allowed to be imprinted within me and that has become part of me that i live within this world without question.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have anxiety to make a mistake.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect making a mistake with/to anxiety.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see/realize/understand that the anxiety i experience within me as me in order to NOT make a mistake is in fact making sure that i continue in the state of perpetuating situations/scenario's/events where i will be having to experience the anxiety to make a mistake.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to think/belief that making a mistake is like the end of the world, a bad thing.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see/realize/understand that the mistakes i am making are HERE to tell me something about myself that i am still NOT looking at, that i have not corrected about myself.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to hide for my mistakes in the form of anxiety in order to NOT face myself within/as the mistakes so i can correct myself, thus making me Fear my own mistakes, because by Fearing my mistakes i can abdicate my responsibility to correcting myself.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to Fear; ' fearing making my own mistakes,' because it will mean i have to face myself within/as the mistake.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have the anxiety to be judged as NOT good enough.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see/realize/understand that thinking/believing that another is judging myself as NOT good enough is my own judgement about myself.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use judgement as a means to continue thinking/believing that i am NOT good enough.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to link judgement with NOT being good enough.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as NOT being good enough because i think/belief that i cannot do something, that i will fail if i do.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to due to my fear i have created within/as myself that i will probably/possibly fail if i do something, without me even tried doing it to see if i can or cannot do it, keeps me in a state of NEVER really doing anything.






Self-realizations


I realize that i am using past memories of when i was a kid to ''behave'' in someone else's house, that will make me nervous, because as a kid i did NOT understand what this ''behaving'' really meant.


I realize that i interpreted ''behaving'' as in sitting quietly and not moving or doing something.


I realize that i am still living as this imprinted ''behaving personality.'' 


I realize that having anxiety to NOT make a mistake keeps me in perpetuating motion to continuously be in the state of having anxiety to NOT make a mistake.


I realize that i think/belief that making a mistake is the end of the world, or a bad thing.


I realize that the mistakes are HERE to help me see myself as to what i have to correct within/as myself.


I realize that i am deliberately having anxiety to make mistakes in order for me to NOT have to take my responsibility to myself.


I realize that by fearing making mistakes i can then avoid/walk away from having to face myself.


I realize that i am using judgement to continue thinking/believing that i am NOT good enough.


I realize that i judge myself as NOT being good enough because i think/belief that i will fail if i do whatever i have to do in a moment, and this keeps me then in a state of actually NOT doing anything.




Self-commitment statements:


I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into feeling nervous when i am at someone else's house, I STOP----------------- take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy, and then i make sure i stand up and walk or do anything that is a physical movement, so i can get out of the state of just sitting and being quiet.


I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into interpreting behaving as in sitting quietly and not moving, I STOP-----------------take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy and i remind myself by putting my hands together that this what i am going through as an experience is a mind-fuck thus i need to focus on my breathing till the experience is gone and IF it persists and continues i can then sit down or in the moment do some self-forgiveness statements in order to find out why i am still interpreting this in the same way.


I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into thoughts of NOT being good enough or having anxieties, or judgement within myself, I STOP------------------ take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy and when i am calm and stable, i then make sure that i move myself around the house and find something practical to do in order for me to NOT get lost in the same old patterns of what i have accepted and allowed myself to be/become.





Self-Reward:


Within this post i have identified that i am using old patterns of Fear/judgement/anxieties to make sure i do NOT take my self-responsibility in a moment to STOP and then correct myself in the moment. therefore now that i have seen within myself why i am behaving the way i do when at someone else's house, i now can give myself the gift to stand up within myself and face myself when similar moments arrive, and walk through the anxieties/fears/judgement i have within/as myself in order to correct myself and also face my own self-created fears.




Thanks.



Larry Manuela







Join us at: DESTENI



Have a look at our solution to all the problems in this world, and i mean ALL: EQUALMONEY



Support our research and by one or more of our educational products that will surely blow your mind:   EQAFE



Walk yourself out of your illusion back into the physical LIFE substance through using the tools in this course: DIP








Do the course of a lifetime and change yourself in order to change the world:DIP     If not able to afford this one, here is a free version to get you started in becoming a REAL caring human being: http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/