For context i am placing a little bit of where i finished off in the previous post:
Within this post i have identified that i am using old patterns of Fear/judgement/anxieties to make sure i do NOT take my self-responsibility in a moment to STOP and then correct myself in the moment. therefore now that i have seen within myself why i am behaving the way i do when at someone else's house, i now can give myself the gift to stand up within myself and face myself when similar moments arrive, and walk through the anxieties/fears/judgement i have within/as myself in order to correct myself and also face my own self-created fears.
*** breathing is short
*** stiffness in arms
*** lots of slime in the gob
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NOT pay attention to my breathing that was becoming short when i find myself in situations where i doubt myself or i feel like i have to go against what it is i hold as valuable as what i have accepted and allowed to be/become: ''the way i understand things'' or '' my cultural values.''
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to Link BREATHING with programs in the mind like; '' the way i understand things'' or '' my cultural values,'' wherein these mind delusion take me away from my attention from my own breathing, and thus i loose myself in such constructs of my mind and its programs.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give value and meaning to: '' the way i understand things'' and ''my cultural values,'' which are all dependent on my very Breathing of my Human Physical Body to have their existence.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use constructs in my mind as: '' the way i understand things'' and '' my cultural values,'' Against my own Human Physical Body/Form and My Breath of LIFE, that truly/actually/factually/physically Supports and assist me in every Moment that i am HERE.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to let myself get so lost in my mind, that i experience stiffness in my arms, and even then i still did not pay attention to the hint my body was giving me, that i am NOT HERE with and as it in the moment.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to treat my body as NOT important and thus make it go to the extremes to get my attention.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel lots of glob in my throat due to me loosing myself in my mind and taking my mind constructions as more Then LIFE itself.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NOT pay attention to my physical body signs, to get myself back HERE and be HERE in every moment.
When and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into having short breaths, I STOP------------------Take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE, till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.
I realize/see/understand that i become wheezy when i have doubts and when i feel like i have to go against the things i hold as valuable to me as ''the way i understand things'' or '' my cultural values''
Thus within this i Commit myself to every time i am being wheezy to immediately look within myself to see what it is i am trying to protect within myself that i value and i make sure to do something that is physical meanwhile i am busy focusing on my breathing, and if this continues, i then know that i have to work some more on this point, because there are patterns that i have missed.
When and as i see myself linking or trying to link breathing with constructs/programs in my mind, I STOP-------------------- take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.
I realize that my mind delusions take me away from what is HERE, thus within this I commit myself to make sure that i remain within and as my breath and make sure that i look for something physical to do, it can even be just as easy as holding my two hands together and then by being HERE within and as my body i can be clear in looking at what i am doing, what i am accepting and allowing, and also what i will NOT accept and allow within myself, and thus give myself the opportunity to correct myself and be free from my own mind delusions.
When and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into going against my own Human physical body/form, I STOP------------ Take a deep breath and make sure i continue focusing on my breathing till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.
I realize that i am using constructs within and as my mind to go against my own human physical body/form and my breath.
Therefore, I commit myself to investigate this within myself in the moment and say '' STOP'' to myself as a physical action in that moment so i don't loose myself within and as my mind, and when i am where i amalone i can write out and work out what is still needed to be cleared within myself.
When i experience stiffness in my arms, i immediately STOP------------ take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.
I realize that i am NOT listening to the hint my body is giving me through/via the stiffness of my arms as an physical experience.
Therefore, I commit myself to when i am feeling this stiffness in my arms to immediately to remind myself that my body is giving my a signal that i am not HERE with and as it, that i am busy loosing touch with reality through my mind, thus i make sure that i sit myself down and investigate the point or points that i need to still work on within and as my mind, so my body is free from discomforts.
Within this post i have seen/realized/understood that i am NOT paying attention to physical experiences my body is going through and that these physical experiences are hints to tell me that i am not being HERE, thus now that i have become aware that these are hints, the next time, i will be paying more closer attention on my physical experiences in order to work on whatever a construct that i am busy having doubts about or i am trying to go against some delusional values set forth by myself, thus i will gift myself the gift to be attentive at my body movement and experiences and be able to pin-point what they are related to and then work them out through self-forgiveness in self-honesty through writing and my commitments to LIFE, to clear myself from my own mind delusions.
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