Wednesday, 1 May 2013

Day 235, Contemplating for Contemplation Sake or Not? Part 1

So, now i am going to start with the first dimension that i will walk in regards to this point. I will start with the Thought-Dimension.






For a little bit more context i will place a little of what i wrote in regards to the point i am about to walk here:

And besides what i was taught by my family and through the culture i was born into, i myself as a kid and still to this day that i am a grownup person was/is someone whom observe eveything, thus my whole environment, it's like my own little comfortable thing i like to do a lot, just watching everything and not just watching also listening to the sounds of what is going on. I am NOT a social person, was always comfortable being by myself alone, and this does NOT mean that i cannot take it being in crowded places or being in company of lots of people, because either way i am still just observing everything still. For example there are very little noises, or close to none that will bother me and i won't even call them noises, i just take it as it is, they don't bother me. There are people for example that cannot take any little sound, they HAVE to live where it's totally quiet, they can't live in a busy city for example, when to me i am just moving into a different environment and i take the environment as it is with all it's noises and so on. In a sense it is my own way to quiet my mind, but quieting my mind does NOT mean I am being HERE, being HERE is a totally different thing.




Now i will move to the walking of the Dimension/Thought-Dimension.

Problem:



Thought-Dimension:

*** an image of me trying to figure out how to use her stuff in a way that she won't have any complaints.

*** an image of me standing before the cabinets and her fridge and asking myself; ' where do i start now, and will it really be o.k. to start here.?'

*** image of me not knowing how to handle her stuff.





Solutions:



Self-forgiveness statements:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have an image as thought where i see myself trying to figure out how to use her stuff in a way that she won't have any complaints about it.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge her in my mind as IF she might have a complaint about me using her stuff, just because i use comparrisons within my mind that i have placed there to protect my self-interest that i hold as '' my upbringing and my culture.''

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to live within myself in separation to myself and thus all of the rest of what life is, because i focus on what others might think/belief of me or how others might react or not react, when all of this is not within my hands, what is within my hands or what i can directly be responsable for/with is, how i myself am within and as myself that i stick to my breath and that i make sure i don't react or give the feelings/emotions/thoughts that can come up attention, thus living as them.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see/realize/understand that focusing on what happens outside with the intention to see what i can learn from myself within myself watching the outside, i was unknownly separating myself from mySELF HERE and also from that which i was looking at, because it makes me just an observer within the spectacle, thus NOT part of it.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see/view/interpret what is HERE as just a mere spectacle instead of seeing/realizing/understanding that the so-called: ''spectacle'' is what i am acceptingand alllowing to be HERE within and as how LIFE is being lived by myself as participant with the rest of the participants.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have an image of myself where i see myself standing before her cabinets and fridge and asking myself the question: '' where do i start now, and would it really be o.k. to start here,?'' to exist within me as me as the mind as energy.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be preoccupied with questions within and as my mind that are NOT even relevant to when it comes to me having to use her stuff.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to link an image within my mind to a thought as a question of irrelavance, just to hide the fear i have in myself as to stick to my ''norms'' where i have to behave nicely and respect other people's stuff in their home/house. I realize that in order for me to stick to what i have accepted and allowed as rules of what is to call: '' my upbringing/my culture'' to keep that in place i resist taking actions that go against these rules, thus for me to take these actions i will avoid doing it, because it goes against what i have accepted and allowed myself to be/become. Thus within this I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to protect my Self-interest as what i term ''my upbringing and my culture.''

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have an image of myself NOT knowing how to handle her stuff.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and alllowed myself to place this image as NOT knowing how to handle her stuff as a justification for myself, within myself in order to make sure i don't break the rules of what i have accepted and allowed myself to be/become as what i term '' my upbringing and my culture.''



I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use ''my upbringing and my culture'' as a means to not move myself physically.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use images in my mind as memories in order to uphold my own physical movement in its directive-will.






Self-commitment statements:




I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into shooting off images of me trying to find a way to use her stuff so she won't have to complain about me using her stuff, I Stop------take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE and make sure i focus on my breathing till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy and the from this clarity and stability i take the decision to move myself in a way that will be BEST for me for her, or i can just ask her if what i am about to do or her stuff i am about to use, if it will be o.k. to use it in this way or that way.


I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into judging her i STOP-------------take a deep breath and bring myself back here and make sure i focus on my breathing till i am clear and stalbe and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy and then from this clarity and stability, I then communicate with her as myself as the breath in every moment without judgement, because any judgement is always Self-judgement, because it is only in myself as myself having a judgement About another.


I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into think/believing what others might think/belief of me i just immediately STOP, take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy and i make sure that i act/communicate and move myself within and as my breath without any beliefs within myself abput how others might think/belief of me.

I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into paying attention to what happens outside myself without including what happens inside myself at the same time, I STOP, take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy, and then within this stability and from this point of clarity and stability i move and communicate as me being here within and as my breath and my human physical body.


I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into seeing/viewing/perceiving LIFe as a mere spectacle as how we live HERE, I STOP---------------take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE and make sure i continue focusing on my breathing till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy and then from this starting point i can then look without and within as me just being here within and as my breath and my human physical body.



I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into questions within myself that are irrelevant to what i have to do within a moment, i just STOP--------take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE and make sure i continue breathing and focusing on my breathing till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy and then from this startin point of clarity and stability i move and take action.


I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into my memories and having thoughts in relation to protect my self-interest as in having questions of irrelevance, I STOP---------------take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE, because i realize that i am in my mind and just keep on breathing till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy, and then from this clarity and stability i can move/walk/take action.


I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into or i am about to go into use an image to protect my Self-interest in the form of sticking to the rules of ''my upbringing and my culture,'' I STOP-------------take a deep breath and ground myself HERE, and i continue breathing till i am clear and stable and then when i am clear and stable without energy fluctuations within me i then move/walk/communicate.


I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into using images in my mind as memories to obstruct my own Directive-Will, I STOP------------------take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE and make sure i continue breathing till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy and then from this clarity and stability i will move me as me as my own Directive-Will, as my Decision to what will be BEST for me and for another in a moment.



Self-Reward:



Within this dimension i have seen that i am using images to divert myself for NOT taking my Self-responsibility to what i have accepted and allowed myself to be/become within and as this world, and therefore now that i have seen the why i am doing this, when it happens again i can STOP myself in doing so, because i already have identified the reason why i am doing it, and IF it continues to pop-up it means i still have to digg deeper within myself to see what point i have missed with regards to this whole point or this particular dimension.





Thanks.




Larry Manuela





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