The points i will be working on/out within this post are:
**** Softness of skin
**** Color of skin
**** Softness of voice
In this post i will go through an explanation to each point as how i have been living them and what values i have given them in my own life.
**** Passion: Now this is related to sex, when and as i see a woman i am with and she is totally ingrained with the excitement to move herself to have sex in a slow motion kind of way, as in building the stamina to a state where i know from experience will get herself totally aroused and where she will let all the brakes loose and where nothing matters but the two of us in that moment engulfing in all the touches and kisses and body fluids as in a form of out of control but yet still in control as meaning: '' following the flow of the movements in the moment.''
**** Beauty: within this i see beauty as in every thing she does, whether it is the way she smiles, the way she close her eyes when i am kissing her, the way she lower her voice as i will perceive it as she is ''giving in'' into the moment of being together, this beauty has nothing to do with specific how she looks, but more with how she is in a moment or all moment as she moves herself.
**** Lust: kissing, caressing, touching her body, making sure that every inch is being given attention, following the movements within me and try to figure out what she might be going through when i am busy with her, breath changing and becoming long and heavy, slowly but surly getting into faster motions to eventually in the end reach an orgasm. Now this orgasm thing is a major point on my behalf, that i will have to work on/out extensively, because i can see within me that i have programmed myself to really LIKE orgasm, i have become an orgasm junky, thus in reality meaning: '' energy sucking vampire,'' in a sense.
**** Softness of skin: She has very soft skin, and when i touch her skin i feel as if i want to touch it forever, like wanting to really really feel the touch of her skin when i am touching it, i can go one forever just doing that, it is like amazing, everywhere i touch this softness is there, thus the softness of skin is for me a way to explore the touch to the skin.
**** Color of skin: I LIKE white skin-color and she has just that, white skin-color. Now because of this it generates even more energy within me, it is just because i have gotten what i wish/desire/want when it comes to the color of the skin of a woman, the so-called: '' happy feeling.''
**** Softness of voice: Now this point is also a major problem for me, because when she speaks she has a very soft low tonality and that gets me all the time, sometimes if i don't pay attention to my breathing i can immediately get aroused by just hearing her speak whatever. So this softness of voice is again another point that i have programmed within myself for me as a point of getting myself worked out as into becoming aroused, because it signifies passion in a woman to me according to my own self-created beliefs, because of the experiences i have had with other women in the past with soft voices.
So as one can see, all of this is THE PROBLEM, what i wrote up there. Now why is it a problem? It is a problem because ALL of it are specific reactions and feelings i have created within myself in order for me to survive within this world and are part of past memories that i keep on re-living in every moment to keep on re-creating these specific feelings and reactions, which are all energy based, they CANNOT exist by themselves/on their own without being generated and produced. And who is doing the generating and production? I am, this ME as the Mind CONsciousness System.
In the next post i will start with the deconstruction of the first dimension i will take on in regards to this specific point, which will be the Fear-Dimension.
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