Saturday, 11 January 2014

Day 278, Memories that triggers the need/want/desire for sex in the relasionship : Part - 3




                                                                               
                                                                           


                                       
Now moving to the next dimension, which is: Thought-Dimension.



Thought-Dimension:


*** picture of me being whispered in my ear 

*** picture of me kissing a woman on the lips

*** picture of her body being gazed upon by me





Self-forgiveness statements:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a picture of me being whispered in my ear to get me excited.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be more excited when hearing the sound and voice of a woman in my ears.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become much more horny if I hear sounds of sex made by a woman, then her making no sounds at all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have programmed myself to get excited when there is sex sounds to be heard.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize and understand that I am focusing a lot on the sounds a woman makes during sex with her then focusing on being together with her itself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that only when being with a woman and we are having sex, and she is making sex sounds, am I able to get more into the sexual act.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that if a woman is not making sex sounds during sex with her, that there must be something wrong with me, and that she probably is not as interested in me as I believe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to measure my sexual action with a woman through the sex sounds she makes, and if there is little to no sounds, I loose interest in sex with her.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that sound is the most valuable aspect of sex with a woman for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a picture in my mind of me kissing a woman ever so gently on her lips.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get very excited when I kiss a woman on the lips, where an energy builts up in my solar plexus and because of this giving me the impression that i have to kiss her more and intensely so, in order for the experience of the energy in my solar plexus can increase.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give the energy built up in my solar plexus more importance and value then the actual kissing of the physical touch of the lips coming together itself, they are only as important as what i can get from them when engaging in kissing a woman on her lips.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a picture within my mind of me gazing upon the body of a woman.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I need to have pictures within my mind about a woman I am with when she is not around in order for me to feel good about myself and generate energy within and as me as my mind consciousness system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create within myself an addiction of shooting picture within my mind in order to generate energy for my mind and in this, not making sure that I just remain here in my breath within and as my human physical body not having the necessity to rely on pictures in my mind.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that having pictures of a woman or women in my mind give me a reason to exist as in having something to do, when in actuality I am in fact not doing anything, I am just lost within the pictures within my mind.



Self-Commitement statements:


When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into having picture of being whispered in my ear by a woman, I STOP---------------- take a deep breath and ground myself, bring myself back here, till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that I am using this picutre of being whispered into my ear by a woman, because it makes me excited.

Therefore, I commit myself to when such moments arrive to make sure I remind myself to put my focus on my breathing by grounding myself and also making sure that in conjunction with this breathing to do a physical task so the bringing of myself back here is more assured and physically directed.


When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into becoming more excited by hearing the sound and the voice of a woman in my ears, I STOP---------- take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that I get more excited when i hear the sound and voice of a woman in my ears, because i have programmed myself to be more reactive to the sounds itself with a woman during sex or just before sex.


Therefore, I commit myself to through my writing of self-forgiveness and my commitment to life to not react to sounds during or before sex, but to move with and as the sounds when I am with a woman, as part of the whole sexual intercourse that is going on, and if I do continue getting excited because of the sounds, I ask the woman I am with to give me a moment to take some breaths to stop participation within the getting excited based on the sounds I am hearing and when I see that I am clear we can proceed again with the support of each other through sex.

When and as I see myself going into or i am about to go into thinking and believing that if a woman does not make sexual sounds, that there must be something wrong with me, I STOP---------- take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that because I have programmed myself that I must hear sexual sounds made by a woman during sex with her when I am touching her, and if this does not happen then there is something wrong with me within my touch, that I am not good enough.

Thus, within this I commit myself to when I am in the act of having sex with a woman to focus on the physical movements of my body and her body and just be totally here in the moment, either there will be sounds or no sounds to just focus on the totality of the whole physical experience of having sex with each other, and if a something comes up within me as energy because I react to the sounds, I just take a break within the act of having sex with the woman for a moment and ask her to wait for a moment and I then clear myself through self-forgiveness from this energy that comes up with me as a thought and wait till i am grounded in breath, to then proceed.


When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into becoming more horny, because of the sounds of sex made by a woman, then little to no sound, I STOP-------- take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.


I realize that I get more horny when i hear sexual sounds made by a woman then little to no sound, because I have programmed myself to react on the sounds woman make when having sex with them and making this as THE most important thing for me.


Thus within this, I commit myself to through my writing of self-forgiveness and my commitment to life, to make sure I step by step de-program myself and then create myself to be fully as myself as all that I am in a moment of having sex with a woman and express myself as such and not react to sounds or little to no sounds a woman makes.


When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into looking for ways to focus more on the sounds made by the woman when having sex with her to get more into the sexual action itself, I STOP---------- take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that I am letting myself get used by my own addiction to sounds a woman makes when having sex with her, so i can get more into the sexual action itself as if need the sounds to make the sex worth while.

Therefore, I commit myself to through my writing of self-forgiveness and my commitments to life to dedicate and teach myself to make sex an expression instead of trying to use the sounds a woman make to make sex worthwhile, and making a mockery of sex, by making it into something that is or worth doing or not, when it is to express and in the expression support and assist my own body together with the body of the woman also.

When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into making up a picture within my mind kissing the lips of a woman ever so gently, I STOP---------------- take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.


I realize that I make picture of kissing the lips of a woman ever so gently, because this is the way i can get into my groove as preparation to the actual thing, without seeing/realizing and understanding that the picture I make up within my mind is not actual reality and actual reality will always not match with how i pictured it within my mind.


Therefore, i commit myself to focus on my breath when i am a woman and also when i am aware that i am going to be with a woman, and just do not participate into making up pictures of kissing her within mind, and justwait till the moment is here and if i want to kiss her i just ask so and if it is a "yes" i then kiss her, thus making it a practical real kiss without the stimulation of having to make up a picture of kissing her beforehand.


When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into getting excited when kissing a woman and geenrating energy within my solar plexus, I STOP-------- take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me the mind as energy.


I realize that I am letting myself get excited through a kiss for the purpose of generating energy within and as my solar plexus and to intesify the kiss more to also intensify the energy generation more.


Thus, whithin this I commit myself to stop participation in using a kiss to generate energy for the purpose of experiencing energy within my solar plexus and instead kiss her as an expression of myself as how I want to express myself within and as myself within my lips touching her lips.

When and as I see myself going into or i am about to go into giving the energy I experience in my solar plexus more importance and value then the actual kiss itself, I STOP-------- take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that I am giving the energy experience in my solar plexus more importance and value then the kiss itself, because I can get more energy this way.


Therefore, I commit myself to give actual value to the kiss itself and not to the energy till I clear this point and if it continues I work it out through my writing of self-forgiveness and my commitment to life till the point is cleared.


When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into using picture of a woman i am with without her physically being here to feel good about myself and generate energy within my mind consciousness system, I STOP---------- take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.


I realize that I am using picture of woman I am with to feel good about myself and generate more energy within my mind consciousness system.

Therefore, I commit myself to stop participation into making pictures of woman I am with within my mind when she is not around in the flesh and focus on how to physically/practically to approach her and express myself together with her when the moment is actually here and that is it.

When and as I see myself shooting pictures within my mind to feed my addiction to energy, I STOP-------- take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realilze that I am shooting picture in my mind, to keep my addiction to energy as my mind intact, and thus relying on them.

Thus, I commit myself to through my writing of self-forgiveness and my commitment to life, to little by little and step by step to clearing my addiction and make sure that I focus on physical tasks so i do not participate within my mind fueling the addiction, till I am no more addicted nor creating addiction within me.

When and as i see myself going into or I am about to go into having picture of a woman or women to make me feel as if I don't have them I don't exist or have nothing to do, I STOP--------- take a deep breath till I 
am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.


I realize that I am lost within the pictures in my own mind and thinking and believing that by having these pictures I am doing something, when in actuality I am not.


Therefore, I commit myself to make sure that i actually DO something as in the form of moving myself to express myself with a woman in the moment of being with her and let the expression in the moment be just that, and not looking for having a reason to express either.



Self-Reward:

Within this writing I have seen/realized and understood that I am using lots of pictures of woman or women within my mind to generate energy for my mind and because of this not actually expressing myself here in the physical when with a woman for real, but focus on how I experience the energy within me when with her. Thus now I am aware that I just have to teach myself to express myself in the real physical world with a woman and not rely on pictures in my mind to just react and in this supporting me and also the woman.



Thanks


Larry Manuela


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2 comments:

  1. Cool self revelations on the sound as energy aspect Larry! Funny how you write within the title the 'typo' "relasion ship" -- sounds like a release ship. lol

    ReplyDelete