Wednesday, 22 January 2014

Day 280, Memories that triggers the need/want/desire for sex in the relasionship : Part - 5

I move now to the Backchat-Dimension.


                               

                                           


Backchat-Dimension:


***  Hmm, if I can only hear that sweet voice in my ears right now

***  I would give anything for a lovely passionate french kiss right now

***  Wow, look at those wonderful legs and beautiful glow upon her skin


                                                 
                                                                   



Self-Forgiveness & Self-Commitment statements:


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the backchat: " hmm, if I can only hear that sweet voice in my ears right now," to exist within me as me as the mind as energy.

When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into having the backchat: " hmm, if I can only hear that sweet voice in my ears right now," I STOP------------ take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that this backchat I am using is specific to start my engine going, because through this backchat:" hmm, if I can only hear her voice in my ears right now," leads me into a future projection within my mind that is not here physically in a moment.

Therefore, I commit myself to make sure through my self-forgiveness out loud in a moment or later on in wrtitten form to deal with this backchat the moment in comes up and make sure to use my own breath to stabilize myself and also do some physical task while focusing on my breathing to remind me that I am here, so I do not participate within the backchat.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the backchat: " I would give anything for a lovely passionate french kiss right now," to exist within me as me as the mind consciousness system.


When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into this backchat: " I would give anything for a lovely passionate french kiss right now," I STOP------------------ take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that I am using this backchat: " I would give anything for a lovely passionate french kiss right now," because this backchat gives me the incentive to want to kiss a woman but, it is not happening in fact, and this " wanting to" is generate some positive energetic experience within and as my mind, to make me feel good about myself.

Thus, within this I commit myself to in the moment this backchat wants to come up or I am a little bit in it, to immediately remember to focus on my breathing and make sure I do something that requires a physical task so I can help myself to stay here within and as the physical, within and as my breath one and equal and to not give this backchat attention, just look at it without a direct participation but as something that I am just looking at that is passing by, but does not have an effect on me and just breathe. If the backchat continues then I know that there is some points I have missed within my self-forgiveness that more thorough indepth investigation and introspection and I then go about doing that till the point clear and released and and corrected.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use "french kiss" within and as my backchat indicating the one thing that I like to do mostly with a woman to get myself and her excited and ready sexually, thus "french kiss" is the trigger point/starting point to commence the generation of necessary energy to built up till I get to the actual sex, that will lead to in the end, the highest of experience within myself of energy, which will be the orgasm itself as a mind orgasm using/abusing the body to get it from.


When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into using the "french kiss" starting point to commence generation of energy within myself that will lead to the utmost/highest energy consumation in the end, I STOP--------------- I breathe, and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that I am using the words: " french kiss" within and as my mind consciousness system as a starting point for the generation of energy within and as my mind consciousness system that will get me excited to look for ways to engage into actual sex or masturbation just to reach an orgasm that wherein my mind consciousness system can consume much more energy in that moment of an orgasm and leave me with just a feeling good about myself, without seeing/realizing and understanding that I am consuming the substance of my human physical body/form to be tranformed into energy for my feel good experience in my mind consciousness system.

Therefore, I commit myself to through my writing of self-forgiveness and my commitments to life, to not only do introspection and investigation within and as myself within and as the words, " french kiss" but also to actually make sure I just stick to the fact of it, meaning, when it is actually happening and then only focus on the physical real feeling of it and not the energetic experience within and as my mind consciousness system and from there learn to express myself within and as french kissing.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the backchat: " wow, look at those wonderful legs and beautiful glow upon her skin," to exist within me as me as the mind as energy.

When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into the backchat: " wow, look at those wonderful legs and beautiful glow upon her skin," I STOP--------------- I breathe, slow myself down and bring myself here, till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that I am using this backchat again to get myself starting the process within my mind consciousness system to generate energy that will lead me to in the end look for a way to get the ultimate energy experience itself as orgasm, looking for the physical act of sex either with a woman or through masturbation.

Therefore, I coomit myself to through my writing of self-forgiveness and my commitments to life and make sure I focus on my breathing and do something that requires physical application in order to remind myself that I am here within and as this physical reality, this physical world and this physical human body and not get lost within my mind that has nothing to do with what is actually here in every moment within and as this physical reality.



Self-Reward:

Within this thread I have come to see/realize and understand about myself that I am using certain specific backchats as starting point to generate energy and to get me excited within and as my mind to eventually look for actual sex through either having sex with a woman or by masturbating, because through this, I as my mind consciouness system can aquire more energy through having an orgasm, for my existence as this mind consciousness system. Thus now that I have become more aware of what I am doing and why I am doing it, I can stop and change myself in the moment and do not participate in such backchats at all and eventually in the end where I won't participate in any backchat, because these are all illusions and delusional, and are not what is BEST for me nor for all of LIFE.


Thanks.


Larry Manuela



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