Day 154, What Is There In My Name: Larry..?? SCS Part 3

I am finishing now with the last phase of my self-commitments statements for on the last one blog i wrote in previous blogs. I will share the link to this one below.

 

 

 

 

                                                             

http://larry7yearwalk.blogspot.com/2012/10/day-151-what-is-there-in-my-name-larry.html

 

 

Self-commitment statements:

 

 

I commit myself to let go of my self-created positive energy experiences that are based on memories of my name being called/spoken in certain/specific way and just make sure that whenever i see myself going into or about to go into creating states of positive energy experiences within myself i just STOP and make sure i am focus on my breathing till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me, and forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to react within myself based on memories that i created within myself to hold on to this positive energy creation.

I commit myself to stop myself giving the personality i created within myself in the past in relation to my name being spoken/called in certain/specific manner whereby the more and more energy it takes  to exist within me and to take decisions on my behave instead of me taking my own decision and directive principle for myself and by  decisions, i mean the ones  that will be BEST for all. So i commit myself to find all the characters/personalities i created within myself in relation to my name to delete them one by one and all the patterns they have as connection within myself till i am free and no character is within me anymore, and it is just me acting out of my own self directive principle.

I commit myself to NOT let my mind interpretation be in my way, and just STOP myself the moment i see myself going into or about to go into mind interpretation regarding my name being called/spoken in a sweet and whispered  way as i have it within my memory bank, as how my mother used to call me or speak to me when i was little, but i just STOP and BREATHE till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind, and from this i then express.

I commit myself to let go of the memory i have created within myself of a worrying voice to be interpreted as if because of this that someone really cares for me, whenever i hear this similar voice tonality in someone else if they use their voice in a similar manner my mother used to use it when i was little and wherein a took that and made a memory that i will use later on to ignite the same feeling of ''feeling good'' within me, and just STOP and BREATHE till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as my mind interpretation.

I commit myself to not react in the way i use to react when my father spoke my name in certain/specific funny way to influence me to have a happy feeling within me, because my father in my memories as i have placed him there in order to use that memory in other similar situations and events for me to ignite and go through the same ''happy feeling'' again in that particular moment that will arise, without seeing/realizing/understanding that it is a character taking over and deciding for me so that i can have my additional drug as ''happy feelings'' to exist within me for a while as energy.

I commit myself to make sure i am sharp as a hawk watching my own mind movements and programming to get to know me as such and take directive principle myself and not let my mind decide for me based on some memories within it, as what i would feel or not feel and even if i should feel or not feel. And make sure i BREATHE and stay HERE clear and stable.

Thanks.

Larry Manuela.

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day 151, What Is There In My Name: Larry ..?? SFS Part 3

I am continuing with my self-forgiveness statements of the previous early writings related to this specific point.

                                                     

For more clarification and to understand what the heck i am forgiving myself about here, please do read the early blogs, i will place the links of them here below:

http://larry7yearwalk.blogspot.com/2012/10/day-146-what-is-there-in-my-name-larry.html

http://larry7yearwalk.blogspot.com/2012/10/day-147-what-is-there-in-my-name.html

http://larry7yearwalk.blogspot.com/2012/10/day-148-what-is-there-in-my-name-larry.html

So this self-forgiveness statement writing is related specifically to the the last link here above, thus day 148.

Self-forgiveness:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to let myself be influenced by the positive energetic experiences as in when my name is being called in specific way or/and with specific voice tonality.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see/realize/understand that by creating positive energetic experiences within me in regards to my name being called in some manner and in some certain/specific voice tonality, i am in fact allowing within myself a personality to take over and decide for me what should be the good feelings within me in relation to my name in the form of a memory i have created myself in the past to deal with this particular experience in relation to my name.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to let my mind interpret according to what it has as memory within it to decide for me if i would feel good or not good about what i hear through/with my mind itself when my name is being called in specific manner and in specific voice tonality.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to let my mind interpret that if a voice is nice and sweet and whispered it means that i can then feel good and rust the individual and all is fine, when this is not entirely so, and i should not react at all in whatever way my name should be called in whatever way or in whatever voice tonality.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to even interpret a worrying voice to be something that is sweet and caring and that it means that i have to react back in a sweet way back as to reward this sweet voice for using such a nice tonality of voice with me by saying my name calm and in a whisper.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself  to see in the voice of my mother used in a sweet way and worried way in saying my name, that i can then take this experience and make a memory out of it and then use it from my mind perspective always within situations where my name will be addressed in the similar manner and similar voice tonality so i can then experience the same energetic experience of positivity i had when my mother spoke my name like that to me.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to let myself create within myself through my mind interpretation when my father spoke my name in a funny way to be the way that i will react in happiness and feeling all happy and wanted to laugh all the time. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to depend on my mind with it's program with it's memories to dictate to me when i should feel happy and when not, when real happiness is in enjoyment in ones expression without harming oneself nor others as oneself.

 

 

More to come tomorrow....................

 

Thanks.

Larry Manuela

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Day 110, Why Not A Girlfriend..??

I am being asked at work by a colleague most of the times, why it is that i don't have a girlfriend yet, that it has already been more then 2 and half years and i still haven't got a girlfriend and that she doesn't see anything wrong with me, because she finds i look good/handsome and i am a kind man.

 

 

I told her already and every time she asks me that, that the thing is; 'i am not the kind of man i used to be, and i am not interesting in the ways of finding a partner and for the reason people so-called: '' fall in love'' with each other. I am getting away from all that,from selfishness and egotistical behaviors, and pursuit of happiness which is none other then.....???    ''SELFISHNESS''

And no, what is to be considered ''normal'' as in system normality woman in this world right now will be interested in a man that is busy with transforming himself to be/become that which is BEST for all LIFE. I am moving out of the world of feelings and emotions and thoughts, so to go and deliberately try and hit on a woman, in another word '' manipulate'' them in order to get into a relationship to experience SEX and happiness for as long as it lasts, i am not interested in that. But i must also admit that i do find some woman attractive, but yet i just be myself as i am now in transformation and what happens, happens, but i am not going to try and hit on them in order to get them.

Self-forgiveness:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to react a little when i am being asked why it is i am not in a relationship with a woman yet, just because within myself i see that i fear what they assume is the reason why i am not in a relationship with any woman as is of right now. I Realize that i assume that they might be thinking that there must be something wrong with me. So within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to assume that people might be thinking that there is something wrong with me, and that this is the reason i am not in a relationship with a woman yet.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to belief that maybe it will be better i would go out and try and find me some woman, because i see that there is still this desire existent within me as me. Sow within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire being in a relationship with a woman and desired looking for one to be in a relationship with.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to wish i was in a relationship but mostly pure for the sake of experiencing SEX with a woman, and not so much for really wanting to be with someone, because i still see that my sexual desires are bigger then living with someone just to be with someone as in a relationship. Thus i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to only wish/desire to have SEX with a woman.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be tempted by my own desires pure for the sake of SEX, imagining putting myself available by going out and maybe find some woman whom might be interested in just that one thing, which is just plane SEX.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to think/belief that just because i am alone and people say to me that i need to be with someone makes me want to go out and look for a  girlfriend, to show them somehow that i can get one and also and mostly so i can have my desire being fulfilled.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to belief that maybe finding a girlfriend is a medicine for not being alone, when with or without a girlfriend i will still have to face myself as my thoughts/feelings/emotions.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand that what i have to actually do, thus the actual applying have to be done by myself so it won't matter if i am with or without someone, and especially if i get to be with someone where what i am busy with in terms of process  will not be something they will be very much in agreement with, because it is getting out of character and getting out of character will mean that i will and cannot let them be in character, thus disagreement will exist.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fall in the desire for getting a girlfriend, when within this it is me as the character of wanting and desiring a girlfriend that is playing it's role within my mind as the stage, where all i will then be in that relationship is just a character playing out it's character role and assisting and supporting the girlfriend then in playing out her character that will be wanting to be with a guy in a relationship to be happy with and have sex and maybe even have kids and who knows what else.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be influenced by others as their opinionated character(s), without seeing/realizing/understanding that their opinions about what they think/belief and assume about me are NOT what is really going on within me or is whom i am for real.

I commit myself to to whenever i see myself going into reaction or about to go into reaction within me when i am being asked why i am still without a girlfriend, to STOP myself and take many deep breaths as possible and make sure i remain here and not loose myself within my mind with it's reactions as emotions.

I commit myself to whenever i see myself walking myself into moments of desires within me for wanting/wishing a girlfriend to STOP myself and breathe deeply and stabilize myself HERE and make sure i am touching something that is physical so i remind myself that i am here, and not there within  my mind.

I commit myself to show that relationships in this world as they exist right now are purely based on character support of each individual and not on each assisting and supporting each to be/become the BEST human they can ever be, as the real physical being of Earth.

I commit myself to STOP myself thinking about wanting/desiring to be with a girlfriend just of wanting and desiring SEX, through my writing of self-forgiveness, and my commitments to LIFE, and make sure i BREATHE through all my moments of weaknesses.

Thanks.

Larry Manuela

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Day 74, Character Number 2 Me At Work.

So i am going to write myself out in self-forgiveness as i see myself at work with my colleagues,and the whole work environment.

Self-forgiveness:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have a different voice to particular individuals at work, basing on how i judge them from my point of view, if someone is a tough person, i will talk differently with them, like wanting to make them ''feel'' good because they can relate to me, i am talking their language so to speak. Thus within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create a character that is playing the role of being also a tough guy but yet reserve.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to talk differently with the ladies at work that are religiously serious, i will talk to them as in a respectful manner. Within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become in these moments with these ladies a character that is talking and showing respectful mannerism.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to play this character that at the moment i get down stairs where the work is taking place, i take this character that is happy to see everybody again and the whole ambiance is like a happy ambiance, it's  like me and everyone else take this fake character in order to not feel the boredom of the work and the weight of it as being physically demanding. So me and the rest we all play the ''happy workers.'' Thus within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to support the whole character scenario by playing my part of the character that is accepted by all the other parts that are also in characters of being happy.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to play the character at work of a flirter with the women whom seem to be '' party woman,''  always making sexual remark jokes trying to find out if the jokes can lead to something more substantial.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be this character at work that everybody likes, because i am the ''nice guy.''

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to play the character to certain people on the work-floor where they will see in me potential, because i am ready to learn anything they throw at me, and i work hard doing lots of things together at once physically.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to play the character of a ''good Samaritan'' at work, where i help everybody and take the weight away from them when i see that it is difficult for them to do such things.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be this character that is always very clean with my work,where i leave a clean work place and what i am working with is also clean and looks nice, because within this my ego will be boosted by my colleagues when they tell me how they like my work, that it looks always nice, and they always ask me the same thing: '' are you always this clean at home to.?''  within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to react to what people say to me instead of me in that moment to remember to stay within and as my breathing.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be this character at work that many go to, to have a conversation with because i am a good listener and have good advises. Within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel like i am better then others when it comes to caring for others, where i have made even a competition in caring for others, when caring for others should not be about competition at all. Caring for others should be just what it is: '' Caring for others.!! ''

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself that when i am at work i ''feel'' like i can do anything work-wise and get into this character that can do anything, because with this character that can do anything my chances to survive in the system are maximized. Within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create me as a character that supports the system by performing as a worker whom can do anything.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to play a character that is acceptable to others at work just to make sure to have as minimum complains thrown at me as possible so i can continue having a job.

I commit myself to whenever i see myself go into character play, i STOP..........take a few breaths and ground myself HERE,and stay with and as my breath, so i don't keep on creating characters linking together to other characters within myself and just be physical and touch something physical and be here with that physical touch.

I commit myself to debunk all the character that i have accepted and allowed to exist within myself in order for me to not get to the whom i really am as LIFE, using the tools of self-forgiveness and self-honesty and my corrective applications, so i can get out of this whole character creating business to keep my mind surviving and sucking energy from my body.

Thanks.

Larry Manuela

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