'' But all these things together made me question life more and more, or what is happening in life, because as they say; 'it is when things are not working out in your life, that you start to question things for real.' But i was like this already all of my life, questioning everything, it just became more serious.''
Now i am continuing with the little short story of my life as the whom i was and whom i am now, which i will get to in a few moments, but let me continue with the whom i was.
Here in this country (The Netherlands) is where i had my real dates, i had many in my life, but i will just stick to the ones here that made an impact on myself in my life. I have had 7 woman in my life that i had a serious relationship with, some did not last long, some a little longer and the last one i had was with the mother of my children, which i was with for 10 years. Now with the mother of my children, as they say in this world, the relationship started with a big bang, and it finished with just a black smoke, that dissapeared in the air.
There are few stages in my life that i will not place here in this post, because i already wrote about them in much more previous blogs, so i won't mention them again in this one.
From 2004 up to 2010 i was intensively looking for the answer in LIFE, as i mentioned earlier about my questioning ability i had since i was a kid, around these years it took a real rise, i was like a sponge, holding on to any information that i could, especially about those things that were not openly talked about within humanity, like hidden knowledge and the like. And within this search i developed a method. I only took serious and hold on to the things that seemed to made me evolve knowledged wise, something that i could see within myself that gave me some understanding of WTF am I doing HERE..?? By the way, this is the main question i have had in my life....lol In my personal research the more i found out the more i could start to see within myself that no-one really know WTF we are doing HERE, we have so many information in books and you name it, but yet not one is clear cut as this is it, this is exactly how it worked and this is why we are here, there are a lot of fundamental differences in many so-called: ''sacred knowledge'' in this world.
In December of 2009 i stumble upon desteni. It was more like i stumbled upon a video they made. And in this video i saw this girl doing what she is doing in order to leave her body, she breathe in and then she breathe out and out she goes, and another being borrow her body for awhile. Now what i wrote here for most people it may be very hard to accept something like this as being possible. But for me at the time, because of already venturing into mysterious things and also having already gone through many things that are being called ''channeling'' within this world i did not took this as something extraordinary or something like that. To me it was like, something i was already used to see. So i said to myself: '' o.k. we have Anu that is speaking here through the body of this girl, lets see what Anu have to say..?''
Now the reason i wanted to hear what Anu have to say, was because i already had many informations about this Anu, and it just interest me a lot, i heard about him through the books of Zecharia Sitchin and also through a channel that is called: '' Ramtha''
But the one thing that i remembered about what i heard about Anu that really stayed with me, was that when i was all engulfed within the '' wingmakers'' philosophy and belief system and the composer of this piece of information mentioned; ' that for Anu, he wanted something more then just gold, he wanted to be God.' And this i hold on to it very close, because somehow it sounded like something i need to remember, that will be valuable in the future, thus so i did.
Thus when i heard Anu speaking through the body of this girl, which by the way her name is Sunette Spies, i said to myself: '' hey wait a minute, there is something here, i can hear more detail even though it is simple but yet there is something within this message that is powerful, that makes a lot of sense.''
And from that moment on i ventured and devour all the videos that they had back then on youtube, i listen and watch them all, some over and over, then i went to their website and start reading all the information they had, and it all just made a lot of sense. It was to me like, i finally have gotten all the answers i needed that i was searching for. In the beginning i was also comparing the message of desteni with some of for example the sources that i have mentioned here, but after being asked many common sense questions in relation to these sources by the older participants of desteni, i realized that this message is not in comparison with their message at all, because there is ONE thing that make desteni stand tall above all of these sources i mentioned here, and as a matter of fact above all the sources that are in this world that are based on giving answers to questions in regard to ALL of LIFE, IS the message of LIFE itself as Oneness and Equality, that which is BEST for ALL.
By starting the the DIP course and using the tools that desteni provides i started to see more in msyelf and i start to change a lot, the most major changes i have had thus far are:
** I can totally and clearly see within myself that what is termed love, thus all the feelings of love are all not real, it is being experienced as real, but not that they are real as being LIFE. And how i know this is because i have stopped this within myself and i am still HERE, i did not die....lol And if i can stop this feelings as love within me and still be HERE breathing and being alive that means that the thing that i was experiencing as love was never REAL. Because if it was i could have never stopped it to exist within me as me. All of this is because in my life i was someone that fell in love very easily, i was very acquainted with this love delusion...lol
** I am now more aware of my thoughts/feelings/emotions, even though this will take more time, because there are lots of characters/personalities in the mind that have to be deleted in order for these to STOP, but i can see them now, thus i have a choice to stop myself when i see myself going into them, which by the way is not easy, but with the tools provided by desteni as one moves along and work oneself out within writing of self-forgiveness in self-honesty and placing one's commitments to oneself, one will notice that it starts to get more easy along the way as one proceed in the process of the journey to LIFE.
** Not so long ago i have stopped my addiction to porn, which was a major point for me to deal with, all of it thanks to desteni and the tools provided by them.
Thus to conclude whom i am now is still a person that is working on himself to walk his process to birth himself as LIFE in the physical one and equal, with lots of falling and standing up and falling and standing up, but will never give up on LIFE, because one thing i can see very clearly within myself and everything else, that LIFE is not giving up on me and the rest, so why should i, and if i do this, do i then deserve to even have a LIFE...??
Thanks.
Larry Manuela
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