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Friday, 5 April 2013

Day 226, Not Wanting/Willing/DARING To Communicate.

Two days ago i was in a conversation with a VERY close friend of mine and we were chatting and we have developed a way to communicate with each other through writing self-forgivenesses and self-commitment statements back and forth with each other, because we found it work best for both of us.  




                                                                         
                                                               

Problem:


So now within all this i told her that i realized that: '' i am not wanting/willing/daring to communicate what i immediately see within myself in a moment with her sometimes because of certain/specific reasons.

And the reasons are:

A) Because of thinking/believing that another as myself will be having difficulty hearing what i will be communicating with them in a moment.

B) Because i myself see and experience what i am about to communicate with another as annoying/bothersome within myself.

C) Because i fear sharing these annoying/bothersome experiences with another as myself, because i think/belief that another as myself will also go through the same experiences i go through within herself.






                                                                     


PENDING SELF- REWARD..!!

My own answer that i am aware of within myself but that i do not apply is that: '' I am aware within myself that it is about working it all out and NOT to let/allow it to live within me or to house itself within me as me as the mind as energy.''

Therefore up to the:


Solutions:


Fear Dimension:


** Fear of communicating with others as myself about what i find annoying/bothersome within myself
** Fear of maybe/possibly not be understood by someone else as myself.
** Fear of sharing myself because i think/belief someone else might go through the same experiences if i am to communicate them to her.



Self-forgiveness statements:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear communicating with others as myself about what i find to be annoying/bothersome within myself. I realize that the fear that i have within me that is existent within me in what i don't want/will/dare to share with another as myself is because it is linked to me being exposed as the whom i am as the mind consciousness system within and as that particular moment.

Therefore, I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear myself being exposed as this mind consciousness system that i have accepted and allowed msyelf to be/become within this world/this reality.

I forgive myself that i have acceptedn and allowed myself to use fear of my own exposure as the mind consciousness system, because it give me the opportunity to see the whom i am and then to STOP myself andchange myself. Thus within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear wanting to change myself.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear wanting to change because i think/belief that by changing I won't exist anymore, when in reality it is the I as the mind consciousness system that is it that will not exist anymore when i see it for what it is and STOP myself from accepting and allowing myself to be as it.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to even have a fear for the illusion that i am, without seeing/realizing/understanding that i am fearing my own fear, because fear itself can only exist as a mind consciousness system and NOT as life ever..!!


Therefore, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear LIFE as the human physical form/body, the REAL being of Earth as Substance and within/as the Breath of LIFE.



I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to gift myself the opportunity to within each moment to give back to myself LIFE as LIFE support me no matter what, even in those moments and countless of moments where i did NOT have LIFE itself as my only REAL choice that really matters.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear maybe/possibly not be understood by someone else as myself.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to let this fear exists within as thinking/believing that another as myself maybe/possibly will not understand me, because the whom i am that speaks and thinks is THE One that does NOT understand itself in fact, thus project this '' being not understood belief'' upon another as myself.


Thus within this, I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to carry a belief within me that i AM NOT understood, thus being not understood is then what i am, and what i then will live as the truth of me as the mind consciousness system, but NOT as LIFE, as LIFE is HERE, that which EXPRESS, that which IS.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be/become this mind consciousness system wherein such things/concepts as understanding something or not understanding something seem to be of value or importance, when in reality life is to be LIVED. I realized that because i have accepted and allowed myself to be/become this mind consciousness system, NOW i have to use that which is within it as it to see and find out what i AM as LIFE, right HERE.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear sharing myself with another as myself because i think/belief that this someone else might go through the same experiences i am going through if i am to share myself with them, in this case to her.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear sharing myself with her.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear sharing msyelf with her, because i am the one thinking/believing that my sharing of my stuff with her might have a consequence within her that might be the same as i have within myself.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to project my own fear onto her instead of me staying/being HERE within and as my breath and my human physical body, one and equal.


I forgive msyelf that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear that by sharing myself with her i might hurt her with my words, when i am aware that words on themselves are innocent and can not hurt anyone, they can only have an effect as hurt by myself and another as myself IF we give ourselves permission to give the words power to hurt us physically within and as our bodies.


Therefore i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define words and give them power to hurt myself and project this as IF it is also possible within another when this is not really so, it can only happen if the Other also accept and allow it within themselves through their own permission.

Within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear sharing myself with her, because I as the mind consciousness system is aware of itself of its workings within another human physical body and therefore, even though i see this in common sense and NOT as a direct seeing, thus as seeing it as the whom i am right HERE yet, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as being this deliberate manipulative mind consciousness system to use words as myself as pawns that may hurt another physical form as myself.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to let myself as a mind consciousness system that i have accepted and allowed myself to be/become within this world/reality to hurt me as the human physical body/form and also hurt other human physical body/form as myself as the Substance as LIFE.



I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that as this mind consciousness system I have accepted and allowed myself to be/become within and as this world, is nothing but an abuser and consumer of LIFE and NOT a supporter of LIFE.


Thus within this, I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create myself to be/become a THING that does NOT support LIFE in anyways whatsoever and thus creating something that goes against myself as an expression of LIFE as the human physical form as the Substance of LIFE.







To be continued tomorrow with Self-commitment statements...................................


Thanks.




Larry Manuela







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