Tuesday, 16 April 2013

Day 231, Not Wanting/Willing/DARING To Communicate. Part 6

I am continuing with the next dimension which will be the Reaction Dimension.


For more context i will place here a little bit of the previous dimension i walked yesterday:





Self-Reward:





within this i gift myself the gift of using my imagination to NOT sabotage myself and/or strengthen my own self-created fear of exposing myself, but to actually use it to See/realize/understand myself as the whom i have accepted and allowed myself to be/become in this world in a moment, so that in these moments i can then STOP myself and correct myself to function effectively in communication and within the principle of what is BEST for all.







Problem:



Reaction-Dimension:



*** Anxiety within me of not wanting to share myself as whom i am in a moment.

*** Feeling nervous around her,because i interpret her behaviour as taking everything personal.

*** Fear of communicating with her, because of thinking/believing, she will take what i have to say personal.











Solutions:




Self-forgiveness statements:


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed to NOT wanting to share myself as whom i am in a moment due to anxiety that i created within myself as myself.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use anxiety as a means to NOT share myself and thus i freeze and do not move, within and as myself to see the whom i have accepted and allowed myself to be/become.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use anxiety to avoid not having to deal with the whom i am as a lie in a moment, functioning as my own mind alarm so i don't have to confront/face myself as this mind consciousness system.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to project my belief about her to/towards her as me seeing/viewing/interpreting her taking everything personal, without seeing/realizing/understanding that this belief is existent within me as my mind consciousness system as a judgement to/towards her, thus i am in fact judging me, because the judgement is the whom i am in the moment i am busy judging, it is all happening/taking place within my mind consciousness system as energy experiences.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to think/belief that by judging her i am right, that she is taking everything personal, when in reality it is just my own judgement about her that only exists within me as me as the mind as energy, and wherein i also want to be right about my judgement about her, as if my judgement have some validity when it comes to what is in fact REAL as LIFE HERE in every moment.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand that by participating in my own self-created judgement about her, i was in fact living as the judgement lost within energy within/as my mind consciousness system, not being HERE at all within/as my human physical body/form and my breath one and equal.



I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage myself into participating within/as my own self-created judgement about her, because in being within/as judgement i am in fact NOT HERE, i am not living as LIFE HERE in every moment of breath, i am in my mind consciousness system following my own self-created belief of her taking everything personal.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear communicating with her, because of my own self-created belief about her, that she might take me personal, thus i rather not say what i have to say, because according to my own self-created belief about her maybe/possibly taking what i have to say personal might/could lead to conflict/friction, and conflict and friction are what i must avoid at all costs when it comes to maybe/possibly getting exposed as the mind consciousness system that i have accepted and allowed myself to be/become within this world, this reality.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to link fear of communicating with her, to taking things personal, because if i am standing within and as my breath and my human physical body and i communicate from that starting point there is nothing to be feared, because i am then communicating as myself as the words as LIFE right HERE in a moment, and if someone else react upon what i say, it is their own mind consciousnes system at play and not mine. Thus within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to react upon what i myself belief, that another as myself and in this case her, is going to react upon if i say what i have to say, without seeing/realizing/understanding that a sharing of herself within breath as what she sees within my words as me NOT being HERE in a moment, is my own mirror for me to see myself within and as when i am in a moment of NOT being HERE.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to blame her and place her as someone that takes everything personal within/as my mind consciousness system in order to not see that all of this is my own reaction i have about her as a belief i created within a moment about her, and that this have nothing to do with her at all in fact.






Self-commitment statements:



I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into creating anxiety within myself to immediately STOP, take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE and focus on my breathing till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy and then from this clarity and stability i can then communicate from the starting-point of being here.



I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into using anxiety as a means to NOT share myself, i STOP, take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy, and from this starting-point, i move/walk.


I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into using anxiety to try and avoid not facing/confronting myself, I STOP--------take a deep breath and bring myself nack HERE till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy and then from this stability and clarity i move and walk within and as my human physical body/form and my breath equal and one.


I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into projecting my belief/views/interpretations about her to/towards her, i immediately STOP, take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE and remind myself in the moment of breathing that my beliefs whatever they may be are NOT what reality is, and i keep on focusing on my breathing till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy, and from this starting-point i then communicate with her, when i clear and stable within energy fluctuating within me as me as the mind as energy, but just as me being HERE one and equal within/as my breath and my human physical body/form.


I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into avoiding sharing myself as the mind consciousness system in order to not face/confront myself, I STOP----------take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy, and within this clarity and stability i then find a way to communicate with her in self-honesty what is going in within me in humble way within and as myself with her so that i can see myself and work on myself and maybe/possibly she can assist and support me in seeing more of the lie that i have accepted and allowed myself to be/become so i can deal with all of that through writing of my self-forgiveness statements and my self-corrective statements.



I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into reacting upon reactions of others either it is out of my own self-created belief or real, i immediately STOP, take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE and focusing on my breathing till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy, and from this clarity and stability i can then walk/move in communicate in an equal way and with humbleness to/towards another as myself and establish real practical communication that is BEST for all.



I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into any sort of blame to/towards her or others as myself, i immediately STOP-------------take a deep breath and bring myself back here and make sure i continue focusing on my breathing till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy, and then from this starting-point of clarity and stability i then commuincate and share myself with her and also others as myself equal and one.




Self-Reward:



see within myself within this writing that i am judging/blaming another as myself for my own mind delusion that only i can create within myself, thus now that i have seen/realized/understood what i am accepting and allowing within myself, i have now the real choice to STOP myself when i see myself going into or i am about to go into judging and blaming others as myself. Thus my gift that i have given myself within this writing HERE, is to NOT judge and blame others, and to look within myself when i happen to fall in these mind traps and get out of them immediately so i don't create consequences that will NOT be what is BEST for all.



Thanks.



Larry Manuela






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