And for more context i will place all the links of the previous posts related to this one point and wherein i walked all the dimensions of that one point, to work it out for myself.
http://larry7yearwalk.blogspot.com/2013/04/day-232-not-wantingwillingdaring-to.html
http://larry7yearwalk.blogspot.com/2013/04/day-231-not-wantingwillingdaring-to.html
http://larry7yearwalk.blogspot.com/2013/04/day-230-not-wantingwillingdaring-to.html
http://larry7yearwalk.blogspot.com/2013/04/day-229-not-wantingwillingdaring-to.html
http://larry7yearwalk.blogspot.com/2013/04/day-228-not-wantingwillingdaring-to.html
http://larry7yearwalk.blogspot.com/2013/04/day-227-not-wantingwillingdaring-to.html
http://larry7yearwalk.blogspot.com/2013/04/day-226-not-wantingwillingdaring-to.html
And for a little bit of what i wrote yesterday, here is an excerpt:
Self-Reward:
The Reward i give myself HERE, is to make sure that i will become more attentive in the words i speak and also attentive to what my body gives me as signs as when something is wrong in the sense of me NOT being HERE and lost within and as my mind consciousness system. So now when mty body reacts, i can immediately assess within myself IF the body reactions have to do with me NOT being HERE as my human physical body itself one and equal, within and as my breath.
Now, up to the last dimension that will be the Consequence Dimension.
Problem:
Consequence dimension:
*** I create an outflow of consequence where me and her are in a state of being uncomfortable with each other in how we interact and behave with each other.
**** Avoiding communication with each other
*** avoiding eye-contact
Solutions:
Self-forgiveness statements:
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to due to me not wanting/willing/Daring to cumminacte with her as i should makes me create an outflow of consequence wherein me and her are in a state of uncomfortableness with each other in how we interact and behave with each other.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see/realize/understand to what extent my none wanting/willing/daring to communicate can lead to an outcome that is NOT BEST for both participants. Thus within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NOT have made a decision that has an outcome that would have been BEST for the both participants.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to due to me NOT wanting/willing/daring to communicate makes me and her kind of avoid communication with each other instead of looking at the point as to why we are acting and behaving like that and sort it out immediately, taking our directive will either it comes from myself or her, but as long as it is exposed so we can see it, because one may see something the other does not see in a moment, and being quiet about will not change the situation or bring awareness to the point of inequality or separation. Thus within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NOT take my directive will when and as i see myself having a reaction or a belief about something to immediately bring it out as to look at it as to understand why it exists within me as me as the mind as energy.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to avoid eye contact with her, just because i interpret from my mind consciousness system that she is avoiding eye contact with me, thus i do the same, instead of asking the question as why that is happening, thus why it is we are avoinding looking at each other in the eye.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NOT take my directive will to ask in a moment when something is not clear to me, what it is that is not clear and why i and another is then reacting due to a point that is unclear or not understood.
Self-commitment statements:
I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into NOT wanting/willing/daring to communicate to immediately STOP, take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE, till i am clear and stable and out of this i can then have a look within myself as to why it is i am NOT wanting/willing/daring to communicate and when i find the reason within myself as to why i am not communicating i then find a way to bring it to exposure through either in moment forgiving myself or if it is somewhere i can write it down in a format as self-forgiveness writings i do so, and after this i correct myself to make sure i don't repeat this again where i create an internal fight within myself unnecessarily that leads to a none communication between two participants or more.
I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into NOT making in the decision in a moment that can have an outcome that will be BEST for both participants, i STOP take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE, till i am clear and stalbe and out of this clarity and stability i then look within myself why it is i am not making a a decision that will be BEST for all and then correct myself and just make the decision in a moment in common sense that i am sure will be BEST for all, and IF it is something that i need to ask the other for her permission i do so, because my decision can be what is BEST for me, but it can also be not what is BEST for the other, thus i have to take into consideration what the other will find of my decision and If it is NOT what is BEST for her, then the two of us can work out and agree to a point wherein what is BEST for both is acceptable and practical and doable.
I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into avoiding communicating with another as myself, i STOP take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE and make sure i focus on my breathing till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy and then from this point of clarity and stability i look within myself to see why it is i am avoiding commincation with another as myself and when i find it within me i work on it to make sure i correct myself and take my directive will when i see something is NOT what is BEST for all, thus in this case avoiding communication and then find simple practical/doable ways to communicate with each other that will be BEST for both.
I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into avoiding eye contact with her, i immediately STOP, take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE and focus on my breathing till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy and in this clarity and stability i can then look within myself as to why i am avoiding eye contact with her and when i find the reason within myself as my own truth i then forgive myself in that moment and correct myself directly as to work out the point of avoiding eye contact with each other.
I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am in a point within myself where i see that something is unclear to me i immediately STOP take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE and make sure i focus on my breathing till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy and from out of this starting point i can then investigate within myself why it is something is unclear to me and what exactly is unclear to me and that it is something i have to ask another to assist and support me, so i can see it within myself for myself i then do so IF it is not, i just don't.
Self-Reward:
The reward i can give to myself HERE is that i can see that i can assist and support myself by looking within myself in a moment when i know within myself that i am NOT wanting/willing/daring to communicate with another as myself, because there is something that i myself have accepted and allowed within myself to be as judgements and reactions/backchats/internal conversations/thoughts and thus STOP it in a moment investigate it and then correct myself and make sure that the correction i make is one that i can trully LIVE practically that will be BEST for me and another as myself.
Thanks.
Larry Manuela
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