Saturday, 6 April 2013

Day 228, Not Wanting/Willing/DARING To Communicate. Part 3

I am now continuing with my next dimension, in relation to this point that has open up as the title of my blog.

For context here is a bit of what i wrote yesterday:




Self-Reward:


I have seen what for FEARS i have accepted and allowed myself and have seen/realized/understood for what reasons i hold on to them, thus now that i am aware of myself as how i created myself to be the whom i am as a mind consciousness system in relation to this specific fear, i can now gift myself the gift to make sure i am more attentive and focused on myself and my words and thus is now able to move withinself-honesty with much clarity and stability.








Problem:




Thought- Dimension:


** Picture of myself trying to explain myself to her
** Picture myself being annoyed/bothersome with hearing what i myself want to share
** Picturing her being annoyed/bothersome with what i want to share with her, thus i keep my mouth shot.




Solution:




Self-forgiveness statements:


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have a picture of myself trying to explain myself to her, to exist within me as me as the mind as energy.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see/realize/understand that having a picture in my mind have nothing to do with the actuality of the moment within reality.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed msyelf to think/belief that by having a picture of what myself and another might think/belief is actually going to be real in the reality i find myself in.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to project my thoughts on to her thinking/believing that what is presented within me as my own thoughts is how she will be responding basing this entirely on my mind intepretation as what it has stored up within itself as memory being in separation with reality.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have given my mind permission to decide for me how to act/move within/as my human physical body/form.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NOT take my directive WILL and decide for myself in a moment in Breath, what will be BEST for me and others as myself.



I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have a picture appear within my mind of myself being annoyed/bothersome with myself as to what i want to share with her.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create a picture within myself of me being annoyed/bothersome and then project this onto her as if this is exactly how she will react if i were to share what i want to share with her.



I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to think/belief that projecting a picture on to her is actually doing something that will change the reality, when the only reality that it is changing is my own mind-reality and not the actual reality as this physical world/reality/existence.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to change myself as i interact with another, in this case with her by having thoughts and thus by changing my interaction i perceive this as changing reality, but in reality i am NOT changing reality but i am creating consequences within reality for myself and others as myself that are NOT Best for ALL.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to through my thoughts, to influence myself to act/move in certain/specific way that have an outflow of a world/reality of inequality/separation.


I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand to what extent i am busy influencing reality through my participation within/as thoughts that have nothing to do with this physical world/reality.



I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to by picturing her being annoyed/bothersome with what i might share with her, i then choose to remain silent.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself be silent just because of my own mind interpretation of what reality could be like, without ever standing still and realize that what i am busy doing as thinking how reality could be like and how she could react or not within it, that that reality itself IS NOT like that at all in the moment i am busy thinking that the reality would be like, and also that it could actually happen like that or not, all of it is NOT HERE.



I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see/realize/understand that by NOT being HERE within and as my breath and my human physical body one and equal i am in fact NOT HERE and i am missing what is HERE in every moment of breath.




Self-commitment statements:


I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into picturing myself trying to explain to her what i want to share, I STOP take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE, and continue focusing on my breathing till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy, and then from this clarity and stability i then communicate with her in a moment what i need to share with her in a moment.


I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into having pictures within my mind, which have nothing to do with reality/are NOT reality, I STOP----------take a deep breath and focus on my breathing till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.


I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into using thoughts to intepret reality as IF what appears within my mind as thoughts are what really are going to take place, I immediately STOP--------take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE and focus on my breathing, and meanwhile i am focusing on my deep breathing i hold my hands together to remind myself that i am HERE, and to not give attention to the thoughts that are appearing within my mind, till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.



I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into projecting my thoughts onto her, I STOP------take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE and focus on my breathing and do not give the thoughts attention just observe them and if there comes reactions within me i self-forgive myself for having that particular reaction within me and let it all go in my Out-breath.


I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into giving my mind permission to decide for me in a moment, I STOP-----take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE, and remind myself by holding my hands together that i am HERE and the one that is actually HERE as the human physical body/form IS the one that have to take its self-responsibility and its own dirtective-WILL.



I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into picturing myself being annoyed/bothersome with myself as in what i want to share with her, I STOP-------------take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy and within this see/realize/understand for myself that my thoughts are NOT what reality is and can never be.


I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into projecting my thoughts onto her, to immediately STOP, take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE and remind myself by holding my hands together that what i am busy doing, thus the thoughts i am busy creating within my mind have nothing to do with what is actually HERE, and thus i keep on breathing till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy and then from this clarity and stability I then act/move/communicate.



I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into changing my self-behaviour or my self-movement, based on thoughts that have nothing to do with reality with her, I STOP------------take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the miond as energy, so i can then interact with her form a basis of clarity and stability within and as myself one and equal.


I commit myself to when and as i see myself NOT going into directing myself to act/move in a way that is BEST for all, to immediately STOP, take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE, within and as my breath and my human physical body/form and remind myself that as being one and equal with and as my human physical body/form alone i can be REAL.



I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into having pictures within my own mind about her maybe/possibly becoming/being annoyed/bothersome with what i want to share and thus i want to remain in silence, I STOP, take a deep breath and focus on my breathing till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy, and from this stand and stance of clarity and stability i can then see if i being silent is necessary or not, and thus NOT from my mind perspective but from the perspective of BEING HERE, as the whom i am as the human physical body/form Breathing.


I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into missing out on reality through my own participation in thoughts, I immediately STOP------take a deep breath and Earth myself back HERE and focus on my breathing till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy, and from this point of clarity and stability i then act/move/interact/communicate.






Self-Reward:



As i now have worked out my thoughts in regards to how i want/will/dare to communicate with another and i see how i fool myself and also sabotage myself into NOT being HERE when taking participation within them, it makes it easier to for the next time(s) similar points arrive to immediately see them for what they are and i can then STOP myself much faster and be more attentive to how i interact with another and in this case with her, thus i have open a door/an opportunity for myself to find a way to NOT get lost in thought off shootings as pictures in my mind that are not real, and that are only past memories of what the mind interpreted.




Thanks.




Larry Manuela






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