Monday, 23 April 2012

Day 10, The Way I Look At Women.

In this blog i am going to lay-out how i look at women and also how i used to look at them. I am bringing it all to myself to take responsibility for myself and especially in this case all the men out there that may relate to what i am going to do self-forgiveness about here in this blog. The way i and other men look at women has in most cases if not all an intention to experience sex with that particular woman they are looking at that they like. Some of it will seem funny, because you the reader will see how we men look at women all the time with only or most of the time with sexual intentions and fantasies running a muck in our secret minds, and how many thing we look at are all related to the outcome of experiencing sex.


Self-forgiveness:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to look at women with lust alone.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to look at intelligent woman as an sex-object, like this is one of them who is more interesting to get her into a sexual relationship, based on my own created idea within myself as if this particular woman is more a challenge to me as men, because i know that in this world, is a world that is dominated by/through men, so those women that are more challenging seem more attractive to me.

I forgive myself that when i look at women i always look at the parts of their bodies that i like to look at because of my sexual preferences within my fantasy world within my mind.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to prefer to look at the ass and legs of women to be in my liking.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to look at the faces of women as a means for me to like her, her face must coincide with all the faces of all kinds of women that are within my mind, and if she has a face that i would like and at least very close to one of those in my mind, i immediately like her.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself, that when i am walking on the streets or wherever i always look at how their clothing match their body shapes, i can see from miles away without looking at the ass of a woman, and from front view, see that she will have a nice ass or not, just because i have programmed myself to see this, and can also immediately if she has a nice leg or not,even when i am not seeing the flesh itself, just the contour, the shape.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to only look at those women who i would like to experience a sexual intercourse with.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to programme within myself to only notice women that i might be attractive to relating to them being fuckable to me. If they are not fuckable to me, i won't even notice them.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to enjoy talking to other men and friends when we talk about how we fuck women, and what exactly we are doing or what we did.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to look at woman who have nice clean faces and nice round and slim lips to be very attractive to me.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to only interact in most instances with woman that i somehow am attracted to or that i may want to fuck if there was somehow a chance that that might ever happen.

I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that i can have any and all pictures and images running a muck within my mind of women i would like, but in this i forgot that it is never so in reality that those women whom are in my mind that when i meet them in real life they will perform as they perform within my mind as exactly as i want them to be/become pure objects for me to lessen my lust of sexual energy built-up.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not be myself ever when i engaged even in talking to a women that liked me, because in my mind even though i knew she liked me but still i had to manipulate her to like me some more so i can be sure of myself that this one i will certainly without any doubt end up fucking.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use beautiful words and coin up slanks in order for me to be more effective when in conversation with women that could lead me to experience sexual intercourse with them.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to find some women with specific type of voice to be more sexual attractive, the voice can be calm, can be soft, can be having a tone on the R a lot, it can be in many ways, depended on how the one with the voice looks like, if the looks are coinciding with the voice that i like within my mind, and the reason for this is just because i have the notion and also from practical experience how that would sound like when in actual sexual act.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge women by the way they walk, because in my mind if they are walking like with a lot of swing it means from my programming that they may be swinging at best to in bed.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fall for women whom can stand their ground, because i can see within them that they will be like animal in bed, so to have one once in a while like this will be perfectly fine.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to get aroused when seeing lesbian women in action either on film or in everyday life, especially if both or one of them is of my liking or looks like one of the many images and pictures i have from women in my mind to pick out from.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fall for the smell of the perfumes  women i would like to get in bed with use, to mesmerize me into liking them even more and desiring them even more, because they smell just like something nice, and something nice is what i would like to get in bed with. i have brainwashed to believe that just because a women smells good, she might be clean.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to like women with beautiful teeth, because when they smile and i can see those teeth,it means she attracts me, she is one that takes care of her vagina to, so i must like her and maybe/possibly get some action along the way.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself as always being nice to women, especially to those one's i would like to have an sexual relation with.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself that even when i do have someone i am still looking for more in my mind and still look at other women that i might like and if i could have a chance i would do it to, just because i have a lot of images and pictures of types of women that i still didn't manifest as an experience yet, so to stick to only one of them in real life is like missing out on all the others that i did not have a chance to experience a sexual intercourse with.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to masturbate on some of the images in my mind,when the energy built up was to much to handle so drastic measures had to take place in the form of masturbating, without realizing that i am accepting and allowing myself to give in, into my mind and feed my mind with it's desired fantasies that are not real here in the physical, and within this accept and allow myself to follow my own fantasies as if they are real.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate to much in my mind regarding women as a sexual objects and less as in communicating with them as me here as equal and one.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give in into my desires and wants and needs relating to sex with women, instead of me being here and communicate as me equal and one with the women as to an intimate communication between two living beings.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to like women that have nice and clean looking feet, because this in my mind means that she might be taking care of her vagina to in this similar way, so i might not be having a dirty vagina.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to look at women's nails, especially under their nails to see if they are clean, because if they are clean it means they are taking care of their vagina's to and they have it clean all the time.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge a vagina by being clean or not clean, just because i fear a dirty vagina where the possibility of me getting a disease when being in the vagina with my penis.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge  women by looking at their neck and see if i can see rusts, or lines of dirt that were not removed because of not showering and cleaning them correctly, which will indicate that this is a no way zone, because the vagina will probably be as dirty as the neck with rust.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to look at women ears, within and around and behind it to see if they are dirty, because if they are dirty, it means to me, that they in the similar way will not clean their vagina as they should, because i am the one fearing a dirty vagina, i will judge them for this.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to look at women and see if they have clean teeth, because if they don't it means to me, that the they are not clean with their vagina either.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge a women who smells bad, because i believe that if she is smelling bad, it means to me that her vagina will also smell bad and will be not clean to go into.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if a women looks like the way i desire her to look that because of this she might be better in bed, then if she was not looking like i would like her to look like.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have the fantasy to arise within me to sometimes go and try out a women that would not be of my liking just to see if she will perform better or not when compared with the one's that i like, and if she does, i will keep on in secret having sex with her and just for that purpose and nothing more, and in this abuse and manipulate her for the sake of my sexual desires. 


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to engage more often in my mind relating to sex to/towards women without seeing/realizing/understanding that by doing this i am supporting the whole male mentality and treatment of women in this world that is totally sexual objectified.




I commit myself to from this day onward to only communicate with women out of me as standing equal and one with  and as them, and have intimate communication without sexual secret mind jargon playing in the background.


I commit myself to let go of my ego sexual fantasies that are not supporting life equal and one here, and as a matter of fact are abusing life.


I commit myself to look at women as my equals and not as sexual objects.


I commit myself to not judge women for the way they look of present themselves, because that is just an image and is not whom they really are as life.


I commit myself to support all males and females as for me to be totally open about what i as a men in this world see in women and how i as one of the men think about women in this manner stop myself and others to participate in such abusive behaviors that at first face may not look as abusive, but they are, because there is manipulation, there are lies, there are judgments etc etc....... and these are not in line with what is best for all, equal and one with and as life.




I commit myself to take a stand for all women in this world to expose my own shit and all men shit that they have as secret mind running a muck but will not dare share it let alone to stop themselves for doing so. So for this i commit myself to stop and change myself and be an example for all men.

I commit myself to learn more about my own secret mind delusions, and in this matter expose them all, so i can be an example as  i am walking my process of stopping all that i have accepted and allowed myself to be and become and birth myself here in the physical.


Thanks.


Larry Manuela


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