Wednesday, 19 September 2012

Day 127, Falling For An Image, SF & SC. day 3.

Here i am continuing with the having a look at what all exists within me as when it comes to this 1 point of falling for an image.


 I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to look at what i have programmed within myself that i will find beautiful woman, to be very sensual and sexual, and that give me a sensing of this beauty as i look at it, interpreting it as what i have already within me as memories in order for me to be mesmerized by the beauty one particular woman present herself as, as i see/interpret/perceive her within my mind through my human physical eyes.


I commit myself to STOP myself in BREATH, whenever i see myself going into, or about to go into program activation as memories within me in regards to what i will be seeing/interpreting/perceiving within my mind through my human physical eyes as what i will call a beautiful woman, and make sure i remain here in/as my breath till i am stable HERE, and not lost myself in this flood of thoughts and back-chats about what i see/interpret/perceive within my mind through my human physical eyes, and within all this t help myself to remind myself that i am here i also make sure to touch something that is physically here.


* Thought:


I see a white woman laying on a bed with very little clothing on, as having some pink lingerie, where she has her forefinger in her mouth and with an inviting look on her face, as in calling me to come and join her in this bed.

 

Self-forgiveness on the thought:


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have the thought of a white woman on a bed with very little clothing on, as having some lingerie, where she has her forefinger in her mouth and with and inviting look on her face, as in calling me to come and join her in this bed to exist within me as me.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to within this thought manifestation within my mind to find pink lingerie to be a piece of clothing that will be sexually attractive to me, to exist within me as me.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see/interpret/perceive white woman as the ones that i will choose as in my mind to be sexy or beautiful, more so than other skin colors, as for what i have been let myself been brainwashed with through images and pictures bombarded at me through television and tabloids  and you name it, and than accept those as what i will hold dear within myself as what will be my preferences when it comes to liking a female based on how they look physically within my mind through my human physical eyes.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to make myself belief/think that a woman making a gesture as in putting her forefinger in her mouth means that she is ready for sex, and wish to be entered.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to get hooked by an image within my mind that i will allow to create experiences of excitement  within me in order for me to participate in my mind instead of me being HERE within and as my human physical body and my breath.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself of interpreting certain specific colors of clothing and the texture and fabric they are made of to ignite certain specific experiences of feelings within me as to give me the urge to surge for what will eventually lead to an actual physical interaction whereby i from that physical interaction can obtain/gain/consume more energy for me as the mind to continue existing within/as the human physical body.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to within my thought equate bed for the purposes of having sex, for being the most common place and means to have sexual intercourse with a woman, wherein the bed give me the sense of comfort when and as having  sexual intercourse.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have within this thought, the woman having an inviting look on her face, denoting and expressing within this thought to me as to interpret/view/perceive this is a gesture to come and lay down with her in the bed.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have a mouth of the woman manifested within and as my mind as a thought wherein my desire for kissing her is also being met within my mind.



* Memories related to this thought:


* memory of me seeing myself getting in bed with one of my ex. girlfriends, where she was all warmed up and has the exact same posture as that which appears within and as a thought within my mind.


* memory of me enjoying kissing her lips and her entire body.

* memory of smelling her body-scent.

* memory of hearing her moans and groans when i touch and kiss her body.

* memory  of feeling her touch on kisses on my body.

* memory of experiencing an immense energy manifestation within my solar-plexus area.

* memory of feeling how the bed physically felt.

* memory of the quietness of the room.

 

Self-forgiveness on the memory(ies)

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have the memory manifested within me, where in i see myself getting in bed with one of my ex. girlfriends, where she was all warmed up and has the exact same posture as that which appears within and as a thought within my mind, to exist within me as me, and that is the platform from which i create more thoughts in relation to this particular memory, that may have similarities within the thoughts and have slight look-adjustments  to make it look like it is a complete new thought out of a complete new memory, when it is not.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have the memory of me enjoying kissing her lips and her entire body to manifest and exist in me as me, for i am the one that give permission for such illusions to exist within me as me.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have the memory of smelling her body-scent to exist within me as me.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to  have the memory wherein i can hear her moan and groan when i touch and kiss her body to exist within me as me.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have the memory of feeling her touch and kisses on my body to exist within me as me.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have the memory of me going through the immense energy experience within my solar-plexus area to exist within me as me.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have the memory of feeling how the bed was physically felt, to exist within me as me.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have the memory of the quietness of the room to exist within me as me.

 

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More deconstruction will take place tomorrow.............

 

 

Thanks.

 

Larry Manuela

 

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