In this blog i will walk myself to nothingness for 7 years onward of self-forgiveness, self-correction and as so i take upon me all that i have accepted and allowed to be HERE as life as me as all.
Wednesday, 26 September 2012
Day 132, Going Into The Military..??
There was a time in the past when i was younger that i wanted to go into the military. I was looking at it from the perspective of going into the military and learn some technical skills and get to be doing ''good things'' for people whom were in trouble either in this country or in other countries. Understand that this is the kind of bullshit that is being told to the young people to persuade them into joining the military, as if it is a great adventure, and besides that, they pay you well to, to become a soldier.
I passed almost all the tests, but after i have passed the psychological tests and so forth, i had to talk with one of the officers and in that particular conversation he was asking me some questions. Now before i continue, as i was waiting in the big hall for my turn to go in and have the conversation i looked at all the people there and i noticed the ones that had higher rankings when they were walking in and took a seat, they don't say hallo at all to no-one. They were proliferating themselves as arrogant, and in that moment i just had a good look within myself and i asked myself: '' is this really where you want to be, and with people that are like this..??''
So i went in and the officer started asking me questions and he asked me if i have had any troubles with the justice system and if i have had some fines in whatever matter. Now i remembered then that i did receive a fine from riding in the metro without paying, but they never sent me anything home to pay, so i never bothered asking them either, so i thought that will not be accountable since they never sent me a bill to pay the fine. So i said to the officer: '' no, i have no fines.'' And as i was answering his questions, he was looking in the computer, and he replied: '' you know Mr. Manuela, in the military we don't like people whom are liars, so are you sure you have no fines..??? And i repeat once more: '' no, i have no fines, because in my mind i was sure that the one fine will not be visible anymore since i have never received any bills and it was something like at that time 5 to 6 month later, so in my mind it cannot be in the computer otherwise they should have sent me a bill. Anyways, he told me, well since you are insisting in lying to us, i must in this moment not let you proceed with this whole test, because in the military we need people whom we can trust and we don't want liars, so hereby you are dismissed. Well, let me tell you, when i got out of the office to leave that place, i felt a relief, and i said to myself: '' thank goodness for that little fine,'' because i just didn't felt like that was the place for me to be, i didn't like the attitude of the people at all, it looked all stiff and cold, and the body language showing arrogance--------i just saw myself going to have a lot of problems with these people if i were to be in their midst. Because from my experience with interaction with arrogant people, i know that most if not all arrogant people are people whom always want to be better then others and see themselves as more then others, and i never liked people like this. Because they are very abusive either verbally or physically. The thing that i found out about this whole military bullshit, is that they can get any information about anyone if they like to, if they have your identity information. Because the people whom are dealing with these fines were not the police or something like that, they do work for the state, but it it doesn't fall under the police and legal departments. And even after the whole military tryout, i never got the bill home either from the department till this day, that is like 13 years later, wherein i will be asked to pay my way due fine. So to me that means they can look into systems of other departments and find out about things about you if your name is there very easily, they don't need any chip insertion as people belief/think that are afraid of these things, as all the conspiracy theories out there are trumpet around everywhere....lolll
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to wanted to go into the military because of my adventures attitude that i was living back then, wherein i was not even questioning the whole military complex in it's entirety, i just saw it as people whom will go to prepare themselves to protect their country and if there is trouble in other countries go and help them, IF they are part of alliance agreement wherein ones particular country is in with other countries.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to belief/think that dying for ones country or for the good for all people was a great thing and a tough thing to do as it is being portrayed in the military when in reality it is NOT great at all to go and kill anyone and real tough people are people whom want to LIVE, not people whom want to DIE. People whom stand for LIFE, but not by trying to kill LIFE. I realize that negative things and things that are destructive to LIFE are being seen as tough things and given much more value, when the toughest thing ever is to live LIFE, as one as equal as all as everything as LIFE, right HERE and be self-honest. People will rather kill each other as in killing LIFE, then to give each other LIFE, they will rather fight then to find and agree to live in peace with each other, and the fight will be seen as something very tough, and peace will be seen as weak, so weak that they will even fight and kill each other using the name of peace..... i mean:'' What The Fuck..!! ''
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to never saw/perceived/viewed how by just wanting to participate even when the very existence of something like a military alone is beyond insanity, i still wanted to be part of it anyways as i was seeing/perceiving/viewing it as something tough without considering in fact what the fuck i was really trying to involve myself within, and wanted to be part of.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to think/belief that the military is here to protect me, when real protection is to prevent the killing of ALL LIFE by giving as you would like to receive, which is a giving of LIFE back to LIFE itself, there is NEVER a loss in giving LIFE to LIFE, because LIFE is the REAL support for all that is manifested as itself as LIFE.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see the military as something honorable to the country and the people in the country, when in reality it is just plain brainwashing to protect the ones in power in the country, and also to execute their power when they need to.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand that the military everywhere in ALL countries is in reality an abomination to LIFE, that will never ever honor LIFE, because it's very intention is to destroy LIFE.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fall for the propaganda of the military that are going around giving people false hopes and false protection, because with the military one will never reach peace and one will never be protected because it creates more hate in people, and the more hate it creates the more it creates more enemies and have to keep on growing in numbers and in weapon creation. So i realize that with war one will only produce more enemies and NO peace at all as the world is proving and have proven throughout the ages, but still the young people are being brainwashed and their parents approve it either directly or indirectly that it is all o.k. to be part of the military or marine, that it is a great /tough thing to go out and kill other people in other countries that don't agree with the way one live in ones country, with all the none-sense that one belief.
I commit myself to show that the military is an abomination to LIFE and also a crime against all LIFE, and should be banned from the face of the earth as soon as possible.
I commit myself to show to the young people especially that choosing to go into the military is THE most stupid thing one can ever do, and the greatest crime that one will commit against LIFE, that will have consequences either HERE in this LIFE or when one dies, there is NO way out for what one accepts and allows to be done to LIFE.
I commit myself to debunk and expose the military for what it is always, as it is a acceptable crime committed to LIFE where no-one for real is really standing up and saying: '' no more..!! ''
I commit myself to show people whom are saying that they are against the military that they are in truth pro-military, because they are allowing it to exist in their country and allowing their children to participate within it and act as if there is nothing they can do about it, and even go as far as to say that their children have their own choices, and if they choose to go into the military, it is their choice, when in reality it wasn't a choice, they were brainwashed and are forced through laws and false propaganda to enroll themselves to go into the military.
I commit myself to work with others to bring about a system in this world in the form of the equalmoney system that will STOP all WARS and ALL military world wide.