In this blog i will walk myself to nothingness for 7 years onward of self-forgiveness, self-correction and as so i take upon me all that i have accepted and allowed to be HERE as life as me as all.
Friday, 28 September 2012
Day 134, A Dream. SFS & SCS.
So here i am continuing with my self-forgiveness statements and self-commitment statements. For further perspectives here is the link from yesterdays dream writing: http://larry7yearwalk.blogspot.com/2012/09/day-133-dream.html
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to form a picture/image of my son to exist within me as me, in a dream where i will allow this picture of my son to play out a scene within my mind as i am dreaming, without me seeing/realizing/understanding that the image/picture of my son is myself as energy within my mind, that was transformed from my human physical body as the substance of LIFE. So i realize that everything within and as my mind or derived from my mind is all me, the thoughts as images/pictures and emotions and feelings connected to them, are all ME as the mind as energy, and are all really just END products.
I commit myself to step by step, little by little to STOP myself in participating in my dreams and even to have dreams through my very writing of self-forgiveness and my commitments to LIFE, and also to do self-forgiveness aloud in the moment, and remind myself to BREATHE, and be here as my breath and my human physical body.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself have a image/picture as a thought as my nephew to exist within me as me.
I commit myself to interact with my nephew as his human physical body and make sure i do NOT allow my mind as myself to make pictures of him to use later on in dreams and thoughts.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have an image/picture of chef-knife to exist within me as me and use this image/picture with the image/picture of my son that looked liked he was about to jam it into my nephew's right eye, to exist within me as me.
I commit myself to STOP participation in my mind that creates images/pictures of real physical manifestations wherein i see my son that is about to jam a chef-knife into my nephew's right eye, that also created a emotion as fear within me as me.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to let my son and my nephew to romp each other in the dream dreamed by myself wherein a foresee/anticipate a fight coming out of it, to exist within me as me.
I commit myself to STOP myself in dreams wherein i myself is the dreamer and what is being dreamed of, to exist within me as me and just take a deep BREATH and remind myself even in my dreams that i am still HERE and i am breathing as my human physical body.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have chosen a yard to dream myself in together with my son, my nephew and my little sister, as for my mind to use a perfect family get together scenario for the whole scene to take place.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to hear the voices of my son, my nephew and my sister and of course of my own to exist as a memory within me as me, that i use to ignite certain specific negative feelings as emotions that are none other than little parts of my human physical body that were killed and transformed into energy so my mind can continue with it's existence within me as me.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use a image/picture of a chair to exist within my mind in the dream within me as me.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use the image/picture of an eye to exist within me as me.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be fearful within my dream as when i saw that my son was about to jam the chef-knife into my nephew's right eye.
Now let me place the points that are important wherein i can see what i can teach myself from my own dream and what are the points i need to work on still:
*** That i am too close to people meaning i still trust people/persons
when this is not something that one should be aiming for as long as
someone is not willing to walk the talk as to bring about a world that
is BEST for allLIFE.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to trust people to easy, because of my self-created character as a ''good person,'' wherein i have the belief that o ''good person'' is someone whom is nice and good to others, when most of the time i am aware of those whom are not really people to be trusted for sure. I realize that i am still judging people, so within i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge others by the way the present themselves, when i know that their presentation is a LIE, because they, just like me are playing a personality/character in their minds using the body as a host, or better yet, as a hostage.
I commit myself to STOP every time i see myself going into or about to go into the ''good person'' character and just take a deep BREATH and make sure i remind myself that i am here by touching something that is physical, so i don't get lost within my mind.
*** I enjoy company of people i trust or are close to me.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to enjoy mostly company of people i trust or are close to me, within excluding the rest of all that is HERE as LIFE manifest,creating within me and the world at large more separation, and place a false value on people.
I commit myself to remind myself that ALL people are and have the same value as LIFE, and therefore treat them all as one as equal as i would like myself to be treated like.
*** I am stubborn.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be stubborn and want things to go my way, without seeing/realizing/understanding that within stubborn behavior there is no oneness and equality and is selfish and implies the need/want to be superior than others, so within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be selfish and in need/want to be superior to others.
I commit myself to little by little, step by step to STOP this superiority and selfish behavior that exists within me as me that i myself have accepted and allowed myself to create myself to be part of the whom i am, through my writings of self-forgiveness and my commitments to LIFE, and just make sure i BREATHE till all is quiet within me and nothing moves as energy within me as me as my mind.
*** I am cutting things in half or little pieces, meaning i don't go full
out, and i am looking at things in division/separation/polarity.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to procrastinate myself in NOT doing the things that i need to do especially when it comes to me being more diligent to my own process.
I commit myself to STOP myself procrastinating and to push myself more and more and to never give up, till i find my stability within my process, because i know it is my mind trying to make it look like it is difficult when in reality all it takes is me doing what i need to do in every breath till it is done.
*** family and friends are important to me, but i am not giving it attention.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NOT give my friends and family much attention due to the fact that i know they do NOT agree with me on this whole process that i am walking here, that from their point of view/perspective looks like a belief system that they don't agree with so they distant themselves more and more.
I commit myself to treat and interact with my family and friends, without mind participation so that i remain just HERE, and when an opportunity present itself then i can slowly talk about my process and what i am doing in easy to understand terms so they can hear me, and maybe realize something for themselves about themselves.
*** I see things the right way, which is in reality not THE right way,
since the knife was about to be jammed in the right eye, meaning: the
right way is what is BEST for all LIFE and NOT the right way as in right
and wrong as polarity and opposites.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see/realize/understand that the true ''right way'' is to make sure all LIFE is equal and to make sure each part of LIFE is functioning at it's optimum/BEST.
I commit myself to STOP myself every time i see myself going into or about to go into participation the polarity game of the mind and just BREATHE till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me, and make sure i am touching something that is physically here so i don't loose myself in my mind and just be one and equal with my breath and my human physical body.
*** I am fighting through my own process
here, which it should NOT be so, i should be gliding through it, but i
am making it a fight, so fighting with myself, with other words holding
back, instead of going full out as it should.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NOT go full out within and as my own process where i sabotage myself to NOT do what is necessary to be done and get it done.
I commit myself to keep on pushing myself till i am stable and clear so i can move through my process with much ease, and not make it a dragging and a burden but something fun to do.
*** and of course the fear that exists to do the right thing, which is
what is BEST for all LIFE, so i fear doing what is BEST for all life
which i use to sabotage myself and divide myself into difficulty within
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear what is BEST for all life as an application for me to walk for i know of the consequences that will come to such a responsibility.
I commit myself to make sure i take my self-responsibility for i have chosen to stand for LIFE, so for and as LIFE i MUST walk till this is done..!!