In this blog i will walk myself to nothingness for 7 years onward of self-forgiveness, self-correction and as so i take upon me all that i have accepted and allowed to be HERE as life as me as all.
Saturday, 1 September 2012
Day 120, Self-Interest Character.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be a selfish/horrible/disgusting/self-centered/careless/greedy human being in this world, never seeing/realizing/understanding that what i have accepted and allowed to be existent within me as me is what will be HERE as the without, so my whole reality will be that which i allow to be within me as me.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NEVER look at the evil within myself, because i have accepted and allowed the LIES of religion to be part of me, so i don't have to face the real me, as what i have accepted and allowed myself to be/become in this world.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to always crave for my own little survival first as i would term it ''my life'' without ever seeing/realizing/understanding that my LIFE is only possible because of all LIFE, so to take care as myself as life as all as life as equal and one i am in fact living/expressing me as this LIFE in oneness and equality with all LIFE.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NOT consider LIFE as a whole ever in my life for i have given my permission to myself to only live to survive for myself and to make sure i always win, not giving a damn about any other living being at all.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to always live as personalities/characters in my mind, giving them MORE value then the LIFE that have been given to me, to be HERE, and express freely as this LIFE, and wherein i have abused/neglected/not considered at all, that to live in my mind i was giving up real living HERE in and as the flesh, which is the real substance of LIFE manifest, where i will be slave to my own mind that i don't even have any clue as to how it works in specificity.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NEVER ever questioned my own thinking, my own feelings, my own emotions---------for i have just accepted them as me, and wherein i am just a personality within all of this mess, not knowing at all how my own mind works and also how my own body works from the very small part of it to the very whole of it, making me totally devoid/separated of being aware of what is HERE.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to hang myself within my own mind for loving my mind above LIFE, hence giving my mind more value then LIFE as LIFE is manifested HERE as the physical reality that my body consists of exists as, that i know my mind cannot exist ever without.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to think/belief that following the rules of the system that i have allowed to be HERE where i have to be selfish,was the way things were suppose to be, where everyone fended for themselves and compete to maybe/possibly get a chance to have a nice living creating in this matter a total mess of this earth and allow all sorts of abuses and atrocities without ever giving a real damn thing about anything that is here but my own survival within the system.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel so self-important that what i thought/believed i knew could make me somehow some special human being, when in reality all i am is an abuser and destroyer of LIFE through my very participation in allowing all the abuses and atrocities imaginable and unimaginable to be done to LIFE while i am here protecting my own ass, in a system of enslavement,where i am so proud unknowingly that i am a SLAVE of my own mind and what i allow in LIFE.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to take every breath i ever took for granted and NEVER ever saw/realized/understood how LIFE was giving me in every breath an opportunity again and again to make the choice for LIFE, but all the while i will ignore and neglect my very breathing that is keeping me alive here, so much so that i don't even consider the importance of own breath as the gift of LIFE to me to express as expression that i am within and as this earth, as my human physical body.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to look for all kinds of excuses and justifications to NOT take my self-responsibility for what is busy happening HERE in this reality and deliberately choose to separate myself from what is HERE through/by my own mind,and act as if what is happening here is just an illusion and soon when i die i will go to where i come from which i interpreted and perceived based on knowledge and information in this world that are not in anyways whatsoever clear at all as to where it is i am coming from and what the hell it is i really am, never ever in this world was this clear enough, because it must have been that i and the REST are not suppose to find out whom we really are for real, and hence we dream ourselves away in the light and love and colors in the mind, and make us unable to ever even consider that we are abusing LIFE right here on planet earth through our ignorance and our unwillingness to CARE for LIFE.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to never ever consider that my own self-honesty would be the tool where i will see/realize/understand my own evil doings and nature that has perpetuated and promulgated throughout my existence HERE to reach levels of insane consequences that HARM LIFE in all possible ways and where i will still look for ways to be self-dishonest about my participation within myself as my mind and without as my relationship within the system of money.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately choose NOT to see how the system of money that is HERE is only, but only supporting self-interest of the human, wherein the human will go through the extent of annihilating itself and all the rest that is HERE to continue with this madness of selfishness and greediness.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NEVER see/realize/understand how self-interest in ME and all humans was busy taking over the earth, the manifested substance of LIFE turning/churning/transforming it into energy for the mind to be having it's positive energy experience and for the system of money to continue making more and more profit out of the resources of earth.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NOT consider ever that the only way we as humanity will get out of this mess is to be/become true beings of this earth that work together as one group in oneness and equality to bring about a world that is truly BEST for all LIFE, and within this i as the rest MUST give up our self-interest and self-dishonesty which was all we have ever been, as the world is full of proof throughout all the known history written about how man lived with each other and the rest of LIFE.
I commit myself to walk step by step little by little exposing and deleting all that i have accepted and allowed myself to be/become as this self-interested character that doesn't give a damn about LIFE, and little by little transform myself and birth myself right HERE within and as my human physical body and live as the real being of earth one and equal,within and as this whole physical manifested existence.
I commit myself to use the tools as my writing myself to freedom, my commitments to LIFE to delete this character that i have accepted and allowed myself to be/become that is clearly an abomination to LIFE, for it will NEVER STOP abusing LIFE, so i make my decision to STOP me as this self-interested human that through this don't give a damn about LIFE and turn my nature into one that always LIVE for/as what is BEST for all LIFE always.
I commit myself to whenever i see myself going into applications where i can see clearly that i am going to be self-interest, to STOP------------------BREATHE, and make sure that i ground myself right here within and as my breath, within and as the physical and make sure i am touching something that is physically HERE so i don't loose myself within my own mind delusions.
I commit myself to step by step and breath by breath to look more within myself till there is /no more layers and patterns that create this self-interest character that i am in this world busy deconstructing,and changing myself through my writing of self-forgiveness and my commitments to LIFE to be/become an example as one of those that truly stand for all LIFE and walk as such without any fear, till it is DONE..!!
I commit myself to eradicate all self-interest within me and make sure to NOT create myself again as such for i have this ONE(1) lifetime to do this, and so i walk my lifetime till it is done.
I commit myself to using the tools provided by DESTENI to realize myself as what i really am right HERE and with these tools also correct myself so i am no longer a human being that HARMS LIFE, either consciously or through allowance,as i participate in the MESS that is HERE.