Monday, 12 November 2012

Day 162, When Happiness Turns Into Sadness, part 4

In this blog i am going to look at the thought dimension in relation to what i wrote in the previous posts.


                                        


I will place the links to the previous ones here below:



http://larry7yearwalk.blogspot.com/2012/11/day-159-when-happiness-turn-into-sadness.html





http://larry7yearwalk.blogspot.com/2012/11/day-160-when-happiness-turns-into.html




http://larry7yearwalk.blogspot.com/2012/11/day-161-when-happiness-turns-into.html





So Thought dimension:


** I have an image of my son in tears when he realized i will not be close to him for him to have any relation to me.


**  I have an image of myself also being sad, not so much for myself but for the idea of what he might become due to him suppressing his emotions. Someone that will NOT do what is BEST for all life.


**  I have a picture where i see my son having fun and forgetting about me.


**  An image of the country where they are going, where everyone will be super poor.




Self-forgiveness statements:


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself an image of my son in tears, because of what i assume he might go through when he realise that i am not there in a way anymore where the possibilty exists that i can go to him or him coming to me.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe/think that because he is moving into another country and of great distance of me, that this will make him sad and where he will cry and be in tears when he realises that i am not there close to him.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be sad for having an idea that my son is going to become someone that i don't want/wish for him to become due to him going to suppress his emotions, and by this not be able to do what is BEST for all LIFE, a principle that he as of right now don't even know about.



I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to deep down fear that my son will turn into a criminal due to him being emotional and not knowing how to deal with his emotions and how to stop himself in getting taken away into them.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have a picture to appear within my mind where i see my son having fun and forgetting about me, because i fear that he might forget me when he is far from me and will have very little communication with me.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have an image of the country where my son is going to get super poor and where most people will be super poor, due to the fact that i know the country is too reliable and dependent on imports of goods and foods and services coming from other countries and they don't really have something there that one can consider that it is really theirs, the only thing that they rely on the most is tourism, but as the   financial crisis continues more and more this means of income for many will become less and less, because the tourists won't have money to travel anymore.



I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to impose such toughts on this reality, where i see images of people and countries being super poor, because i fear my son having to go through life living this way. Within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear myself having to go through the experience of seeing my son being super poor without no way out.




Self-commitments:


I commit myself to make sure that whenever i am going into or about to go into having images or that images do pop up in my mind to immediately STOP myself in the process of given the image attention, and just stick to my deep breathing till i am clear and stable and that my mind is empty of images and does not move and i am just here breathing.



I commit myself to whenever i see myself becoming sad or about to become sad in relation to my son, to just STOP and take a deep breath or as many deep breaths as possible till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within and as me as energy as the mind, and do my necessary forgivenesses in relation to what i have accepted and allowed to appear within me as emotions.


I commit myself to STOP projecting what might or might not become of my son, because all that his really is, is just me superimposijg stuff that are NOT HERE, and give them attention as if they are here, right now, when they are just worries that ignite emotions within me.



I commit myself to STOP fearing what can become or not become of my son, due to him according to me, may not be able to deal with his emotions, and just in these moments to remind myself to BREATHE and do not participate in these emotions till i am clear and stalbe and nothing moves within me as me as energy as the mind.


I commit myself to STOP myself whenever i am superimposing pictures/images on this reality, and specifically on the reality of my son, where i see him being happy and in this forgetting about me, that i exist. and within this i remind myself to just breathe and continue focusing on my breathing till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as energy as the mind.



I commit myself to stop having pictures of people suffering in poverty to exist within me as me and that these pictures and images involve my son also being part of them, for i then give power to energy to exist within myself in comparison to what is really going in this world, but that within this specific scenario, is just a mind projection of mine that is not real HERE in this moment, because my son is not super poor nor the people in the country or the country itself where they will move t are super poor.




Thanks.




Larry Manuela




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