Thursday, 29 November 2012

Day 173, A Moment Of A Little Fear.

Today this writing i am about to share with you will be just a small one.

Yesterday at work, i went through a little fear when the Rolls we work with  almost fell on me. It happen very strangely, because i made sure that the hooks were well positioned in place, because when i look at these things i just don't trust them, that they can hold this much weight, these plastic rolls we work with they weight up to 200 Kg. and the bigger ones even more. So i don't understand how one side could have got out of the hook and then fell. My supervisor told me when i told him  what happened to me, that maybe i did not place the hook as completely correct in, and i understand his point of view very clearly, because when i look at it, to me also the way he explain it to me, is the only way the bar can get out of the hook, it can not just jump out of it and fall. So i cannot explain this, but it did fell and almost fell on me, and i am glad it fell before it was much more higher in the air.


                                                                     
                                                                     


Self-forgiveness:


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear loosing my life. Within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have such words as '' fear loosing my life'' to exist within me as me. I realize that such words as in ''fear loosing my life'' can only exist within me when i am NOT one and equal with and as LIFE. Thus i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use such words as ''fear loosing my life to exist within me as me as the mind as energy.



I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to felt a little fear when the roll fell on the ground almost hitting me, but in the moment itself i did not have any fear, it was after the effect, the i went through a little fear, because of thoughts.



I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to start thinking about how it could have happened that  the roll fell off, which made me think and think about what went wrong, because i could not understand and see the logic in it. Within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use thought to try and understand something that already happened and that in the moment itself i did not see HOW it happened in that moment, so i can never find out through thought processes the HOW it happened, because, the HOW is not in my memory data base, because my mind did NOT see what happened, so it cannot understand, and due to me being one and equal, lost in my mind, I to thus cannot understand what happened.





I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to from the start not trusting and thus fearing these hooks for in my mind they don't look strong enough. Thus within this i had an actual real consequence in the moment that, that which i fear manifested immediately.




I commit myself to stick to breath whenever i see myself going into or about to go into moments of fear within me, or starting to look for fear memories within me, to immediately just STOP and do NOT participate in them.



I commit myself to just breathe at work and wherever i am so i don't get lost in my mind with thoughts of fear, that stimulate fear and can eventually as in this case cause a consequence where fear can be felt more greatly.





Thanks.





Larry Manuela




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