Sunday, 18 November 2012

Day 164, When Happiness Turns Into Sadness Part 6

Now, here i am going to write another dimension that exists within the mind, which is, the back-chat dimension.





                                  marlenvargasdelrazo.wordpress.com


associated links:



http://larry7yearwalk.blogspot.com/2012/11/day-163-when-happiness-turns-into.html#




http://larry7yearwalk.blogspot.com/2012/11/day-162-when-happiness-turns-into.html#


http://larry7yearwalk.blogspot.com/2012/11/day-161-when-happiness-turns-into.html




http://larry7yearwalk.blogspot.com/2012/11/day-160-when-happiness-turns-into.html




http://larry7yearwalk.blogspot.com/2012/11/day-159-when-happiness-turn-into-sadness.html






Back-chat dimension:







**   I hope he will be o.k. when he gets there.


**  I WONDER IF HE WILL BE ABLE TO HANDLE THAT PRESSURE.


** SHIT, WHAT IF HE TURNS OUT TO be/BECOME A CROOK..??


**   WILL I BE ABLE TO HANDLE NOT BEING THERE FOR HIM  IF/WHEN HE NEEDS ME










Self-forgiveness:




I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have the back-chat: '' i hope he will be o.k. when he gets there.'' to exist within me as me as the mind as energy. Within this i realize that i have the fear that he will NOT be o.k. so that is why i am having this back-chat where i am talking to msyelf within my mind asking myself if he is going to be o.k. or not o.k.  So within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to even trust my mind so much with it's illusions, that i even dare ask it within myself as if it knows, when in reality my son is right HERE and not even there in that other country yet. Thus i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give my mind value and to make decisions for me on my behalf based on illusions that are not even real.




I commit myself to make sure that every time i am about to go into or i am in my mind participating into back-chats to just STOP, take a deep breath and bring myself back here, and make sure i am touching something that is physically here, so i don't loose myself within and as my mind and remind myself in this matter that i am HERE.




I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have the back-chat: '' i wonder if he will be able to handle that pressure'' to exist within me as me as the mind as energy. Within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to belief that he is going to have pressure when he is going to be there, when all this is just not HERE in this moment, it is all in the dimensions of my mind, where i use a personality that is a worrying father to shoot off pictures that i can talk about with myself within myself about and make myself belief that these are actual occurences, that i have to be worried about.





I commit msyelf to be more attentive within myself when i am participating in my mind and so that in this matter i can STOP myself participating in it by just taking a deep breath/breaths till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the energy as the mind, making sure i don't delude myself into believing the pictures and words that are in there.





I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself that to have the back-chat: '' shit what if he turns out to be/become a crook'' to exist within me as me as the energy as the mind. Within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to superimpose my mind garbage on my own son, based on memories of what i see/perceive is happening in this world with some kids when they don't have a father in their lives, when all of this is just totally delusional, because my son and i and everything else is physically HERE and no-one is in no future living this way at all.




I commit myself to make sure i STOP myself whenever i see myself going into or about to go into back-chatting my way out in my mind, to take many deep breaths as possible till i am clear and stable and nothing else moves within me as me as the energy as the mind.





I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have the back-chat: '' will i be able to  not being there for him, if/when he needs me'' to exist within me as me as the energy as the mind. Wtihin this thus stating that i am in fear of how i myself will react when i know it will not be as easy as it is now to communicate with him because of the distance. Thus i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to making illusions up in my kind and then back-chat my way out in them and act as if they are right here and real, when they only reality they are in, is the reality of the energetic dimension in my mind.




I commit myself to make sure that whenever i see myself going into or about to go into back-chatting my way  into my mind to remind myself to just STOP, take a deep breath and bring myself back here till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within  me as me as the mind as energy.







Thanks.






Larry Manuela






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Art work done by: Marlen Vargas Del Razo: marlenvargasdelrazo.wordpress.com