Sunday, 27 May 2012

Day 41, What Was Sexy To Me.

Within this blog i am going to do self-forgiveness on what i used to find sexy and also for what i still see as sexy.





Self-forgiveness:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to find woman sexy by the way they talk if they have a ''normal'' woman voice.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to find any woman with a ''beautiful'' slim well shaped body sexy.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to find a woman who is smart sexy.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to find a woman who is very open minded very sexy.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see sexy woman as the ones i would like to be with, because it means to me that i will be getting more sex from them.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to find woman with a long curly hair sexier then others without.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to find woman with a long firm smooth legs to be sexy looking, and these are the most beautiful part of a woman body that i like.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to belief that only with a woman that i find sexy enough would i be able to have a fruitful relationship.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself that only  with a sexy lady i can have a more hot relationship with a lot of sex.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see only the word sex in sex(y) and the ''y'' is not even of importance, it is more like a question why the ''y'' when we already have what we need which is SEX.
 
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be brainwashed by the media and magazines and the movies to mold me into what i would see as a woman who is sexy or not sexy.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to look for sex only in a woman that i find sexy, which is at the same time my attraction.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand how i was deceiving myself into believing that a sexy lady is all i need for a good sex life, when it was not necessarily so in fact, some sexy ladies are not very sexual as the image they are portraying when it comes to the real physical thing, within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by an image, and not by truly getting to know someone for real but went straight for the image, the representation which of course suited my ideal picture in my mind, that i programmed myself with through the media/t.v./movies/magazines.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to find woman wearing a tight jeans sexy especially if they have nice legs, because the shape of the legs are visible.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to find woman in jogging gear looking sexy, because it gives me the impression that they are ready to get loose, they are loosy woman, woman who love sex, but try to hide it, without knowing and realizing that we can see through any clothing what we would like to get our hands on.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see white woman as the ultimate representation of what sexy means to me, and within this i have realized that from my early childhood it was already programmed within me, that i will favor white woman, and the first white woman that really made a huge impact on my life was the lady that played the lead personality in the movie flashdance, i was 11 at that time, that was the moment when  the imprint occurred.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be influenced by a personality in a movie that had an major impact on my decision making in my whole life concerning sexiness of woman, based on what i saw that i liked about this personality in this movie.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand that by following an image in my mind that i allow to exist will make me treat woman in real life as images and not as real people, real physical human beings.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to disrespect the physical as life, in treating it as an image and abusing it, because i was lost in my imaginary world of images and images are not real, and within this by being aware of it and try to superimpose this image on the physical where the image and the real thing are no match, and within makes me an abuser, because i am abusing what is real for a image.

I commit myself to through writing, self-forgiveness and self corrective application to expose the real nature of how sexiness is being used in this world to delude people and to hurt the physical in many many ways.

I commit myself to look and treat woman as equals as me and not as body parts i find sexy according to an image i have created in the past.

I commit myself to educate myself some more and in this look for practical solutions that will suit each best and bring about a world where woman are not seen and treated as sex-symbols but as equals.

I commit myself  to show to all that cannot see how being sexy in this world is busy deluding people and make them slaves to themselves and at the world at large, enslaving themselves and everyone and everything else.


Thanks.

Larry Manuela


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