Monday, 4 June 2012

Day 49, Me, Myself And I

Within this thread i am going to write self-forgiveness on the whom i have accepted and allowed myself to be and become in this world.

Self-forgiveness:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be/become Larry this personality that i have built throughout the years that i have been here since my conception at birth, when my parents have given me this body, this name, and afterwards have taught me without knowing that i must behave according to what they believed themselves to be, which is also a personality in their minds that functions under the command of memories in their minds, in so doing little by little my personality was imprinted within me till i accepted this name and made out of it my own personality and left behind my body and became completely separated from my body, that as of right now i have to self-forgive myself to delete what i have accumulated that was not real as this personality and to then afterwards correct myself in order for me to get back into and as my human physical body.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NEVER saw my body as the answer to my freedom,and the whole physical existence as my freedom, but has abdicated my life to a personality that is only real in my mind, and that has integrated and amalgamated completely within and as my human physical body, that it is for me now to become one and equal with the totality that i am as this personality and also as the whole mind that i have accepted and allowed myself to be and become.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be/become this personality that at a younger age would run as a program that was to be a ''quiet boy'' but yet very active behind the scenes.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to live this ''being quiet'' personality in my whole life without never standing up within me and live as the who i am as the human body that is here on planet earth and that is part of planet earth, that is why i don't really ''feel'' my body totally and ''feel'' the earth and it's parts totally, because i am separated from them through/by my own mind that i have accepted and allowed myself to be/become the ''who i am'' in this world.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to through brainwashing from my parents, my teachers, my peers, my friends and other family members, and all people that i have had an interaction with, which i used as knowledge and information to imprint more layers of knowledge and information that i will use to walk as my self-created personality better in this world with the rest of the people walking as self-created personalities without knowing and believing/perceiving/viewing/interpreting that that has become the whom they are.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be/become a Christian in my life, just because i followed my parents whom are also Christians and in so doing i built a personality that will have a belief system based on the Christianity belief, a belief in a God that is outside somewhere in heaven separated from you and from the whole of existence and that never ever take any responsibility for it's creation.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to belief with full conviction that beliefs are real and out of these beliefs themselves, using the belief itself to confirm my belief,and in this i use my mind which is the only place where the beliefs can exist, because i can clearly see that in the physical world and the physical living, life is happening- is being lived and NOT believed. So within this i forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand in my life how i have lived as a personality in my mind and squandered that which is real which is the physical reality, my physical world and my physical body and gave the personality in my mind more value then all of these, separating myself in so doing completely from what LIFE truly is, which is ONENESS and EQUALITY. Everything and everyone is as ONE, equally HERE. I cannot deny the simple common sense fact that i am here as all the rest of existence is HERE.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be and become this personality that i have mold through the countless influences that i copied and stored within myself, within my human physical body that i will one day use to walk as a personality in a world that is real with people that have real bodies but are not living as their bodies as exactly as i am also not, but completely in their minds using their bodies to live their mind delusions that they see as real, just because they experience it. Within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to belief that LIFE itself is an experience, when experiencing something belongs to the mind, the world of mind. In life and that which is of life and as life only EXPRESS itself as such in many ways, thus within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to belief in an experience to it being the reason i am alive. When experiencing is not me being the thing that i experience myself to be, like for instance my human physical body. I experience it to some extent but i am NOT it one and equal, i am not Me as my body one equal totally all parts of it as me being aware of me as it, and so is with everything else, even my own thoughts, my whole mind. I just experience them and follow. Within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be/become a stranger, an alien to my own physical form,which is my body totally not one and equal with and as it.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to follow my beliefs that i have been accumulated throughout my life without ever questioning them to see if they are in alignment with how things work here in this physical reality, this physical world, but just accepted them, because everyone was doing the same thing; 'accepting themselves as the personality full of memories that they think/belief they are,' so within this i rendered myself a slave to my own beliefs and my own thinking, which are both of and as my mind, when all that is of/as the physical reality is telling me over and over moment by moment and breath by breath that it doesn't think and that is why it is, it is because of LIFE...!!!

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to belief/think that because i have thoughts as a human, that this makes me special and of more value then anything else in this world in this reality, when in reality when i have a closer look at myself within this thinking process, i can see that it limits me as life, that is why i need so much things, built so much things and who knows what just to exist, when the rest is not doing this, so within this my capability as a human with a mind renders me as the least of all the other expressions, because they are expressing themselves and are better designed to live here on this planet, i am the weaker one, believing that i am the strongest one, just because i have a mind that i can think with.

To be continued.................................

Thanks

Larry Manuela

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