In this blog i will walk myself to nothingness for 7 years onward of self-forgiveness, self-correction and as so i take upon me all that i have accepted and allowed to be HERE as life as me as all.
Tuesday, 12 June 2012
Day 56, Self-Forgiveness For My Dick.
Now maybe some of you would have preferred the word ''penis'' right...??
Well since i barely use that word penis, i won't use it here either, i will call it as it is being called almost everywhere,and understand it is just a word that address in this case part of a man's body. As man this dick thing is an interesting point. Men will compete with each other because of the size of their dicks, and when they have a small dick they go through shame, humiliation,they feel worthless and you name it......... And when they have a big dick the majority that is, will be proud men, always having a big mouth and talking about their dicks all the time and act as if it wasn't for the big size of their dicks life would be worthless. This is how far SEX has been integrated within us men. I myself see my dick as having a ''normal'' size, but woman i have been with told me that the thing is big. Now just because the woman say this i ''feel'''confident about the size of my dick, i mean WTF..??? How can it be that a man can be so easily influenced by just the size of his dick...?? Some man have killed themselves even because of this, crimes have been committed because of this in many forms, just because of men being to damn proud and influenced on the size of their dicks. And some will say it doesn't bother me though,well these are most of the times the liars, you should have a look at them in public showers areas how they hide themselves because they belief their dicks are small compared with that of the others in the showers so will hide it, and those whom have it big will walk there let it hung low, as they say, dick swinging all over the place..!! It's like this silence war going on, no-one say anything about it,but they know within themselves that the SIZE of their dicks matters to them, and no matter how many times they keep on saying that stupid saying most are saying: '' it's not the size that matters, but what you can do with it'' Well let me tell you: '' IT'S A LIE.....!!!'' Most men whom have a small dick WISH it was BIGGER, i can almost say 99% of them have this wish, but when you ask them they will say: '' it's not true, the size of my dick doesn't bother me.'' Well let me tell you: '' IT'S A LIE..!!!!..'' Among men this is the greatest religion ever..!!!
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be influenced throughout my life by the size of my dick.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be proud of myself just because woman i have been with tell me that my dick is big, if it was just a few woman, i won't have believed it, but it is all of them that said, so it must be big, but in my eyes it is ''normal'' handy-size.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel shame when i was small and had to be in public shower area, because i saw/thought my dick as not something to be proud of when it is flat so didn't want to show it, or walk around with it showing, hanging.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be proud when i could say with certainty and veneration: '' this little guy(my dick) here, you see it doesn't look like very much right now when it's flat, but wait when it hears that there is something in the vicinity and it has to grow, you will be amazed how far forward and how thick he can grow,'' just because i know that my dick will get much bigger then what it looks like when it's flat, and this gave me the confidence.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be influenced in my sex life just because of the size of my dick, meaning i was extra careful, with penetration, when the woman told me to be careful with that thing, go slow. Within this meaning that i couldn't jam it in as i would liked to, had to take precautions.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel so proud of myself when i take my dick out ready for sex and the woman will say: '' WOOW WTF...!! ''
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel better then other men just because my dick is being accepted by woman as BIG, and BIG to me means i am BETTER then the others, i am the winner, or i belong in the category of those who are the winners, they have it BIG.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be competitive with the size of my dick.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to right now not being able to remember when it exactly was that this whole imprint of the DICK SIZE thing happened in my life, it looks like we are born with this belief.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be more confident when looking for a mate to have sex with just because i knew within myself that she would like the size of my dick when she gets to see it.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to when i was a very young boy to deliberately put socks in my dick area to make it show as if i got a big thing underneath my pants.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to ''feel'' proud and great just because the woman told me i was good with working with my dick.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fall for this whole trap of the size of my dick to influence me in my sexual life,and also in my life outside of that of sexuality, where the belief will strengthen one's competitiveness and drive to always wanting to be the winner.
I commit myself to through writing, self-forgiveness, and my commitments to life to show that this dick war that is going on needs to be STOPPED by each men by themselves and treat/look/perceive/view their dicks as just what it is, a part of their body that happens to be used for sexual purposes and to urinate with.
I commit myself to show that us men are having inside of ourselves this silence war going, but we pretend we don't about the size of our dicks.