Thursday, 21 June 2012

Day 65, Why Tomorrow and Not Each Moment.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not act today but keep on postponing my action to align to that which is best for all life,because i accept and allow feelings and emotions to rule my standing for life, where i have this one lifetime to do this, to stand for real for LIFE..!!


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have no joy in life anymore, the moment i found out that i am EVIL as all the others, that there is not one that is not evil,because as long as all of us as me is here and the atrocities are here equally, then i am the source of it equal and one with and as it, together with all the other humans.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be angry at myself for i ''feel'' i am not doing enough to STOP myself as the source of all that is here as the abuse done to LIFE.

 

 


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear for standing up for life, just because i know that to stand up for life in this world would mean; 'being the enemy of the system as what it is here through and by the humans as myself.'


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NOT honor my own breath and my human physical body as in the constancy and consistency that they are assisting and supporting me within and as this physical world, this physical existence, within my '' letting go off '' the Me as the EGO,as the personality i have accepted and allowed myself to be and become.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to ''feel'' as if i am rotten away, little by little as the personality i have accepted and allowed myself to be/become, for i have never lived as me as the body that is here and as the breath of life that is here, equal and one as me. Within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to only live in a relationship to my body and my breath, a relationship of pure separation where me as the personality consume the body that is here as manifested substance as oneness and equality as LIFE, and within this actually rot away because of the consummation of the substance as the body that is here for my personality that is NOT here as the body,but only in my mind as energy to keep on existing.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be dragged by my own participation within my mind,where i fall pray to my despair, crawling to the stairs of my own demise that i have built to be as steep and as slippery as possible for if i ever wanted to climb my way up where i would look down and see what i have created to be me, i will not get to the top to see, i will slide down from my own slippery steep stairs.Within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create myself as an personality that will do whatever it takes for me NOT to stand for life, for this means to the personality that i am:'' DEATH.''   Within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own death as the personality that i have accepted and allowed myself to be/become in this world, in this reality.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see/realize/understand that i cannot engage in participating in my mind delusions, where i will tell myself that all is fine and o.k. when my eyes gaze at the world at large, the place where i live, i see only abuse, only suffering, that are not as in the eyes of the beholder but are as what it is, as what i accept and allow to be here. within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to live everyday in a world where there is unnecessary suffering and abuse and where i support a system that will NEVER STOP this unless i STOP me and support another system that supports LIFE, that HONOR LIFE..!!


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to ''feel'' sad because of me not seeing the HOW we are ever going to really stand up for life, for most people i encounter are NOT willing and that the only people i know for sure that are willing to stand for life and are doing in every moment of breath what needs to be done to bring about a world that is best for all LIFE, are the desteni people.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to ''feel'' like the walls are closing in on me, as if everything is compounding and accumulating to a degree where there is just sadness.



I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to ''feel'' sadness, as sadness is another emotion set in motion in my mind in order for me to not STOP myself from the participation within my mind as the personality i have accepted and allowed myself to be and become.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to each time i see atrocities in this world in pictures, images,videos i become emotional as in angry at myself and humanity as a whole for we have NOT stood and STOP the atrocities not today but yesterday..!!


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see/realize/understand that no matter what, i have to stand for life for myself first before i can do anything in the world at large, because by becoming one and equal as life the world will not be as large anymore as i perceive it now from the perspective and the interpretation of my mind consciousness system, as which is what i have accepted and allowed myself to be/become in this world, in this reality, in this existence.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear standing stable and here in breath, for i already know within myself that my standing as LIFE will create storms in peoples minds, and within this i fear the people being against me as LIFE, and wanting to eradicate me, as i have already seen in this reality that those who will stand for life will be ground.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear of getting ''ground'' for standing up for life, whether it happens or not is irrelevant to the problems at hand that must be faced.


I commit myself to through my writings, self-forgiveness and my commitments to life to STOP myself in participating in trying to fool myself and looking for back-doors to save my personality, when the real saving so to speak will be me as the personality bringing all that i have accepted and allowed myself as in my relationships to be grounded in LIFE  back so i give myself to LIFE back as the totality that i have accepted and allowed myself to be and become in this world, in this reality, in this existence.


Thanks.


Larry Manuela


Art work done by:      Scott Cook

His artwork: Scott Cook


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